IN our work, we have come to realise that most parents and caregivers are often at a loss when it comes to adequately equipping their children with life skills.
For instance, most guardians are quick to point fingers at society when they discover, sometimes too late, that the children they care for have been abused right under their own roofs.
In doing so, they may overlook the gaps within their own homes/schools/institutions of care that allowed such harm to go unnoticed.
Too often, the signs of abuse are only recognised late, when the consequences are already life-altering.
Where children live and learn should be a sanctuary for safety and support. True protection includes nurturing a child’s emotional well-being, building their confidence and fostering open and honest communication.
Equally vital is empowering children with the knowledge and courage to recognise inappropriate behaviour and speak out against it.
Building a foundation of safety and empowerment
A child-friendly space supports a child’s overall physical, emotional and social development. In that regard, children should feel protected at all times, ensuring that they are free from violence, neglect or any form of abuse. It is unfortunate that, in most cases, children are often left to deal with abuse and its consequences by themselves.
- Identity documents mobile registration kicks off in Byo
- French Embassy supports Hatcliffe reusable sanitary pads project
- French Embassy supports Hatcliffe reusable sanitary pads project
- Looming showdown between teachers, Govt
Keep Reading
What begins as minor incidents, often dismissed as “child’s play”, can be overlooked or tolerated. Over time, these behaviours may escalate to more serious forms of harm, leaving children in abusive situations they may not recognise or know how to address. No form of abuse is minor or less serious.
In the home
Children flourish when their thoughts and feelings are taken seriously. According to Child psychologist Reem Raouda, who has studied over 200 parent-child relationships, when parents listen with patience and without judgement, they build trust and deepen emotional connection. Yet in the rush to meet daily responsibilities, it is easy to dismiss a child’s attempt to talk, whether about their day at school or experiences in the community. At times, exhaustion may lead to irritation or harsh responses, often justified by the feeling that hard work deserves rest. While understandable, these reactions can leave lasting impressions. Children may begin to feel unheard or unwelcome, gradually withdrawing and choosing silence over expression.
Over time, this silence can create emotional distance. Parents may find themselves unaware of their children’s true personalities, struggles or changes in behaviour; changes that can signal bullying, abuse or distress.
Children who fear negative reactions are also less likely to report harmful experiences, choosing instead to cope alone. Maintaining open communication and regularly reassuring children of their right to safety and respect can help to prevent abuse.
In institutions of learning and care
Caregivers and teachers often become overwhelmed, dealing with huge numbers of children from diverse backgrounds. Even where they are adequately equipped with knowledge to handle children’s problems or delinquency, limitations of resources, care and support often get in the way, leading to burnout or loss of interest in a child.
When this happens, the damage can be lifelong and not easy to undo. Intentional child safeguarding and care are thus a must in every institution. Without these, caregivers and practitioners miss the most important developmental milestone support needed for children as they transition to adulthood.
Empowering children to identify and deal with abuse
Teaching children about boundaries equips them to recognise healthy and unhealthy relationships. Providing space for learning and open dialogue supports their overall development, while consistent encouragement helps to build confidence and positive behaviour. When children feel emotionally safe and know they will not be judged, they are far more likely to speak up when something is wrong.
It is equally important to challenge harmful social expectations. Boys, for example, are often taught to endure pain in silence, with emotional expression seen as weakness. This can prevent them from recognising abuse or seeking help early, resulting in a "damaged" adult later. In today’s digital world, risks such as cyberbullying and online exploitation add another layer of vulnerability.
Children who feel valued at home are less likely to seek validation in unsafe spaces or from individuals who may take advantage of them. Conversely, when affirmation is lacking, children may become vulnerable to manipulation, making it harder for them to report abuse, especially if it is disguised as attention or kindness.
Ultimately, children are most likely to open up when they feel secure, respected and loved. This requires caregivers to listen attentively, respond calmly, show consistent affection and respect a child’s individuality. Adults in a child’s life should always create a validating environment.
Empowering children to speak up
Children should understand personal boundaries and know they have the right to say “no” to anything that makes them uncomfortable. It is also important to teach children, in age-appropriate ways, what constitutes abuse and to reinforce a crucial message: ABUSE IS NEVER THEIR FAULT and reassure children that they will not be punished for speaking up. If a child is not given this reassurance, it may affect their testimony in court, even if the abuse is reported.
Finally, when a child shares a concern, responding supportively reinforces trust and encourages future openness. Practical steps such as encouraging questions and praising honesty can help children to feel more confident and prepared to act if needed.
Children should know how to seek help, whether by telling a trusted adult or friend or by contacting relevant authorities or help lines, such as the Childline toll-free number, 116. This is important given that some parents are not always around for children to confide in when faced with challenges, as some parents work outside Zimbabwe or in other regions within the country but away from home, where children reside.
- Chinga Govhati is a child protection advocate and can be contacted on +263773287898.
- Sharon Chava is a human rights lawyer and can be contacted on +263776492177.
