Yesterday, my domestic helper told me a story about a Buhera man, who after paying lobola for his sweetheart, was jilted hardly six months later, following a series of abuses from his in-laws. Report by Ropafadzo Mapimhidze
The man, who lives in Domboshava, was verbally abused and sometimes physically assaulted for not being man enough to buy fancy goods like gas stoves, carpets and many other items their neighbours had.
When I asked the domestic worker why he had not reported the violence cases to the police, she said he was too embarrassed to do so because he feared being laughed at by society.
His wife has since moved on and lives with another man in the same neighbourhood.
“She told her aunts and mother that her husband was not good enough for her. She went away with everything, including items the man had bought before he had married the woman.
“The man paid everything as demanded by in-laws including cattle as part of the lobola requirements,” she said.
In another related case, another woman in Tynwald North, who is a descendant of the late Chief Rekayi Tangwena of Nyanga, was ordered to leave her common law husband following the death of her son who was disabled following an operation by an ENT specialist in 2007.
She, however, managed to stay following the intervention by Girl Child Network that reported the matter to Mabelreign Police Station, where her husband was detained for three days.
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He was discharged without appearing in court for causing harm and emotional injury to this woman who had spent nearly six years nursing a child that was “brain dead”.
But the man reappeared two months ago, nearly six years later, and ordered tenants who rent rooms at their matrimonial home to pay the rent directly to him.
“He made them sign lease agreements, leaving me with no money to survive on. As I speak now, rates, water and electricity bills have not been paid because I am not handling financial matters and I am unemployed.
“I was forced to leave my job when my then two-year-old son underwent surgery to correct some throat complication. He never recovered. I fed him blended foodstuffs through a tracheostomy, a tube that is inserted down the throat.
“When the child died, I was ordered to leave a week after we had buried him. That is when I sought legal help,” she said.
The door to their bedroom bears testimony to the violence that took place at this home when a neighbour came to her rescue and used an axe to break into the room. “Blood was spattered everywhere and her husband had already left for work leaving this woman in a horrible state. She lay still and I thought she was dead. But she never reported the matter,” one of the neighbours said.
These are some of the issues the Domestic Violence Act 5:16, which was passed on in June 2006, allows maximum protection for survivors of domestic violence.
This legislation provides relief to survivors and long-term measures for the prevention of domestic violence.
The Act seeks to cover both men and women who are, or have been in a relationship with the abuser where both parties have lived together in a shared household and are related by consanguinity, marriage or a relationship in the nature of marriage, or adoption; in addition, relationship, with family members living together as a joint family are also included.
Even those women who are sisters, widows, mothers, single women, or living with the abuser are entitled to get legal protection under the Act.
“I will fight this matter until I get a fair share of the proceeds of the house. Enough is enough.
“The positive thing about me now is that I am a much empowered woman. He has moved on and has children. So why should my life stand still? No ways. I want a share of this home and I will get it.
“He paid lobola and I have the breakdown which I have given my lawyer. I will not rest until this matter is concluded. I am not moving an inch from this home to pave way for another woman. I want my share first. If he buys me out, well and good,” she said.
She has since engaged a lawyer who is handling her case after she received no joy from organisations that deal with such issues.
“I was made to sit all day at some offices only to be told at around 4pm that they were closing. I have been there four times and the attitude is just bad.”
Some people are not so lucky as domestic disputes end up in death like what happened in the past when at age 28, Learnmore Jongwe — who was the first spokesperson for the Movement for Democratic Change party and Member of Parliament for Kuwadzana — was arrested on allegations of murdering his wife Rutendo Muusha.
A famed car dealer, Irvine Mereki, is the latest perpetrator.
It is not clear as to what caused Mereki to pull the trigger on his girlfriend recently following allegations of infidelity. The list of Zimbabweans that have died under the hands of loved ones is endless.
Police should take these matters seriously and not allow spouses to withdraw cases against violent partners.
