Jonah Nyoni Research shows that people form an impression about us within the first 30 seconds of meeting us for the first time. This judgment is made from our appearance and manners. Grooming is all about cleaning and maintaining your body. On the other hand, etiquette is about good manners, decorum or good behaviours.
Hand management How do you feel when someone gives you a weak handshake? Or if they give you too strong a handshake? The way you feel, is how others feel if you do the same to them. People with a weak handshake are easily judged as shy, incompetent, and uninterested.
The other mistake people usually make is holding someone’s hand for too long. When making a handshake, grab their hand firmly, and that should not be more than three seconds.
Putting your hands in your pocket can project you as cocky and at times gives an impression you are hiding something. Squeezing your hand too tight also has a wrong impression. Allow your hands to relax and hold them down.
However, how you use your hands, fingers and alarms has a different meaning according to specific cultures. Take time to study what is acceptable and not acceptable in different cultures.
How your hands look is very important. Keep your nails neatly trimmed and filed. Your hands must be clean all the time. For women, use a neutral shade for nail polish. Use a moisturiser to keep your hands smooth especially when shaking hands.
Mouth management Your mouth plays a crucial role in many ways. When you smile, your mouth has a part to play as it lightens your face. How you chew sends a message to your onlooker. One thing that is not so good is chewing a piece of gum while speaking to someone.
It looks unprofessional and exudes immaturity. You would not want to chew a gum when attending a professional meeting or an interview as it means you are not respectful.
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However, in some contexts, people chewing a gum are found to be friendly and approachable, but remember it all depends on the context.
Eye management It is generally said, your eyes are the door to your soul. Your eyes are unbelievably a powerful part of your body, which easily send messages without even saying a word. Eye contact is important. When speaking with someone, you look them in the eye in a comfortable manner.
There is a difference between looking in the eye and staring at someone. When you maintain proper eye contact, you are seen as confident. Good eye contact is encouraged especially during interviews.
If you are in love with someone, you would know the importance of good eye contact. When someone does not look you in the eye, you feel very uncomfortable.
Good eye contact says you are attentive, intelligent, and trustworthy. People that avoid eye contact can’t be trusted. Great eye contact is important when you are meeting someone for the first time.
Talk management When you meet someone for the first time, avoid topics that might not be comfortable. For example, avoid health-related topics, gender topics, body shape or structure topics. There are some topics that are taboo; this includes sex, religion, or even educational levels. Listen attentively to the person you are talking to, and check if they are comfortable talking about a specific topic.
Cellphone management Our phones are now part of our life and we need to manage them well to avoid annoying others. For example, I find it annoying when I am talking to someone and they are busy chatting on their cellphone. This applies in an office environment and in relationships.
Learn to manage your phone. If you are in a meeting, put your phone on silent. If you have something urgent to attend to on your phone, please say so, and be excused for a moment.
A cellphone seems to have killed basic teletiqutte. When calling or chatting with someone for the first time, fully introduce yourself and the purpose of your call or chat.
For example, how do you feel if someone sends a “Hi” and gets silent? How do you feel when someone sends you a text at midnight, when they are not your friends or spouse? How you feel is also how others feel when you do it to them.
Stop calling people over and over again if they are not answering your phone. If they are professional enough they will return your call.
Body management Your body is what people see and judge. This means it must be groomed well for a better impression and expression. We usually say do not judge a book by its cover, but that is what we always do. Learn to trim and clean your hair.
For women, your hair is your crown. Learn your best style that makes you look the best. Not every hair style in vogue is for you. To every man, keep your hair neatly trimmed, and maintained.
There are other hairs besides the one on your head that must be managed. This includes pubic hair; keep it clean or shave it off. There are artificial eye brows/ lashes and those enhance or kill your looks. Know what is best for you.
Your mouth must be managed well. Have a fresh breath, and this comes through proper cleaning and eating the right foods. Avoid looking like a cow when you are chewing. For table manners, remember, no one wants to see the inside of your mouth and what is being chewed. Endeavour to keep your tooth milk white.
Always smell good. Your body is a powerful machine which is constantly secreting substances. That makes it smelly at times. So it takes a proper and thorough bath for it to smell good. Use deodorants/ antiperspirants to minimise sweating.
Use perfume to augment your scent. Use your perfume in moderation. Remember, you do not spray perfume on your clothes, but on your pulse points.
