×
NewsDay

AMH is an independent media house free from political ties or outside influence. We have four newspapers: The Zimbabwe Independent, a business weekly published every Friday, The Standard, a weekly published every Sunday, and Southern and NewsDay, our daily newspapers. Each has an online edition.

Dealing with cheating in a relationship

Opinion & Analysis
We live in a generation where we have more exposure and access through the internet, and more people want to experiment even outside contexts.

By Jonah Nyoni 

IS cheating in a relationship justified? Or cheating is by choice? Today, I write on a contentious subject, which came by because of the responses from readers, who bemoaned because their spouses were cheating on them. We live in a generation where we have more exposure and access through the internet, and more people want to experiment even outside contexts.

How would you feel to find your spouse with another partner in bed? I wouldn’t take that lightly, and so would other men and women.

For women, do they cheat because their legal husband is not s*xually satisfying them enough? Are some women created with that insatiable appetite for s*x? Do by nature men cheat? Is their s*x drive more! Or it’s just out of sheer experimentation?

Let’s love each other

Love is one central thing that is known in every language. Everyone wants to be loved, but when the love whines away, humanity tends to move towards where they receive better love.

Women want to feel wanted and if you are not making them feel that way, she will seek it somewhere.

Women are species of attention. If they lack it, they could seek it somewhere which becomes very unfortunate. As her partner appreciates her and tells her how wonderful she is, men can be so reserved at times to an extent of suppressing the word “love”. When did you last tell your spouse “I love you”? Offer her emotional support in all instances.

Revenge

Some people have said they cheat as a means of revenge. S*x is great, but it must be in the right context. Revenge is also like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Seek amicable ways of resolving conflicts. Some women have been wounded and wronged by their husbands and that makes them feel betrayed and their trust broken. As a way of revenge, they would rather hurt the husband by means of cheating.

Lack of money

Some people might be cheating as a means to get paid for it, for example some commercial s*x workers involved are married women. Secondly, we have heard innumerable stories of young boys cheating with older women for money.

To them, s*x is a means of earning a living because someone is willing to pay for it. That’s not the licence to cheat, but men should lead and be responsible enough to fend for their families. There are also many entrepreneurial projects that women can have besides selling s*x.

Lack of intimacy

The cash, car, and everything else is available, but intimacy seems to have grown cold. The same old and monotonous s*x styles are being used and the partner sees it fit to engage the services of an outsider. At times it’s not about s*x, but one needs cuddling, quality time, and good communication.

Lack of diversity

Both men and women are affected by this. The fact that you have your favourite meal does not mean you can have it daily. There is need of spicing up. Bedroom boredom is another aspect that causes people to want to know what’s out there. Change the place you have s*x. Try new s*x styles.

 Distance

Because of work, some people find themselves distant from their spouses. We one way or the other want s*x. As such distance might be a cause of infidelity.

Cheating is at times a lowered standard. Cheating is indeed by choice. However, cheating has its consequences such as broken marriages and families. Strive to make your partner feel great, good, and grandeur even though it could be at your expense.

  • Jonah Nyoni is an author, speaker, and leadership trainer. Follow Jonah on Twitter @jonahnyoni. WhatsApp: +263 772 581 918

Related Topics