I USUALLY get many spouses complaining to me that their partners are cold towards them, not smiling, not showing any affection, always tired and grumbling at all sorts of things.
By Kilton Moyo
I am sure you are familiar with this.
It is mostly men who raise such complaints.
The worst is when some spouses are stingy with sex and other things.
Naturally, many respond with disappointment and anger and pull away.
This is the sad side of this issue.
You will be surprised that some couples even go to the extent of divorcing over such petty issues.
Today, I will try to help with some tips on how to eradicate such small things that spoil our vines.
It is important to understand that the beauty of marriage lies in the commitment of couples to each other.
This is very foundational and your commitment to your spouse will not just be spoken, but will be shown daily through small things that you do one to another.
Your commitment is such that your spouse’s pain is yours; your spouse’s labour is yours; your spouse’s joy is yours.
Their faults become your faults and your responsibility.
Commitment implies that you are together in all that is to be done. This is foundational and is something that we must learn and understand.
The above referred to challenges will always emanate from our failure to help each other as couples.
Many of us men believe that the woman must do everything in the house.
She is the one managing the children, cooking, sweeping, cleaning, washing dishes, attending school functions, attending to our own relatives, picking up children, doing shopping, negotiating for unpaid bills, attending funerals for our relatives, cooking at these funerals, and many others that you can imagine.
How on earth does one person do all these things in a single day for 365 days a year and still be expected to respond romantically to a husband, who after work watches TV and is fed and served with all things?
We need to think outside the box as men and come to the party.
We need to open our eyes and set ourselves free from our cultural, traditional and religious boxes that make us beings of injustice.
Beloved, our wives need help from us.
If you desire joy, peace, romance and genuine nice treatment, stand up and help your spouse.
Help with the kids too, help with the dishes, with shopping and with all that has to be done.
You and your spouse are one person and you must be there for each other always.
Joy is built through doing things together and sharing burdens.
Joy is built when you can be united in the chores and in all that you do.
Men in our generation must understand that our women are not the type our fathers and forefathers married.
We have a generation of women that has discovered what womanhood is all about.
We need men, who can discover what being a man is all about; it is about serving others more than one’s self.
My argument today is simple in that we as men must learn that it is our duty to help our wives at home with chores.
After work, instead of going to waste time chatting with friends over sweet nothings, go home and help your spouse.
Lessen the burden and you will enjoy all the way.
My advice and counsel to all men, who are complaining that their spouses are cold, frugal and are always tired, is simple: Help her with the chores, be there for her, lift her spirit, fulfil your promises.
Some of us lie every day and we expect them to be happy with us.
If you promise, do it.
Buy flowers. It is not a white men thing; it is a love thing.
I think we need to go big as men so we can enjoy our married lives.
Going straight home after work is not foolishness, it is wisdom and is responsibility.
Helping your wife with chores is not a weakness, but it is being a real man.
It is what a husband does.
Do you want her to welcome you home and spoil you always?
Then go ahead and help her, be there for her, inspire her by doing small little things that your culture discourages you from doing.
If we are not careful, we are bound to divorce and lose our lives more than any other generation in history.
We cannot continue in the robbery of our traditions and religions.
We are in the dispensation of love.
Lovers help each other.
Do not stop calling. Let us talk and help each other too as men. Bless you all.
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Kilton Moyo is creator of Fruitful Marriages, a renewal and enrichment programme and is pastor, counsellor and author of Marriage Fitness. Call or WhatsApp on +263 775 337 207, +263 772 610 103 firstname.lastname@example.org.