Last weekend I attended a beautiful wedding of my cousin’s son. This young man, who turns 30 in October this year, was raised single-handedly by his mum who saw him through high school and university, attaining very high grades at law school in South Africa.
Saturday Dialogue with Ropafadzo Mapimhidze
The day before the wedding, his mum wept uncontrollably as she recalled how she had suffered at the hands of the son’s paternal aunts who ill-treated her saying they did not want their brother to marry a woman who had a child from another man.
“One of my sisters-in-law would prick me with pins and needles, declaring that I would not marry her brother. It was the cruellest episode of my life that resulted in my going back to my parents’ home.
“But what surprises me now is that the very same people have now embraced this child after all the years I suffered alone with him, working day and night to raise money for his school fees until he attained his law master’s degree.
“I relocated overseas in 1998 to work for my three children, who have fortunately turned out well. I did all sorts of odd jobs and none of the relatives, or his father, dared to either call or visit him. But today, I am a proud woman who has seen the fruits of my labour because I now have a son who is an attorney,” said the woman, who is now studying psychology at a UK university.
“I give credit to my parents who raised this boy with unconditional love. He is the joy of my family.”
When a young man or woman becomes successful, they deserves credit, but, behind many of these people there is a foundation of family — oftentimes a family of one. Today I would like to celebrate single moms who raised famous men and women that have achieved great heights in all aspects of life, be it in the movies, music, politics and philanthropy.
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The thing that all these women have in common is that they worked hard with little or no recognition to raise their sons and daughters to be the fine people they turned out to be. I salute these single moms, all single moms, and all mothers in general who put so much effort into raising their children — famous or not.
I will just mention a few of the famous black people that I know that were raised by single moms.
Janice Combs raised Sean Combs, popularly also known as P Diddy, after his father was killed when he was two. Janice worked three jobs to support her family while Sean’s grandmother had two jobs. Vonetta West passed way in 2008, but was able to see the beginnings of her son Kanye’s rise in the music industry.
Widowed after the assassination of her husband Dr Martin Luther King Jnr in 1968, Coretta Scott King went on to raise her four children to great levels of distinction in public service.
Chlora Lawrence was forced to do numerous odd jobs in order to support her six children after film actor Martin’s parents divorced when he was eight.
Vonetta Patton guided the career of young Usher for much of his life after his father left the family only one year after he was born.
The list is endless. You’d probably be surprised to know which great people in world history were raised in single-parent households. I searched for this subject on the Internet and came up with some interesting information.
Although there are many successful people who were raised by single parents, there is still the misconception that these children are somehow destined to live a life filled with hardship or, even worse, grow up to be failures.
The above examples prove just how wrong this idea is. These famous men each had ambition and desired to do their best regardless of the circumstances.
Ann Dunham passed away in 1995 before she could see her son Barack Obama become the first African American president of the United States. Barack’s father, a Kenyan, left the family when Barack was just three years old.
Another great white American, Thomas Jefferson, lost his father when he was 14. His mother Jane Randolph Jefferson raised him and became America’s third president.
George Washington’s father died when he was 11 years old, and his mother raised him and even lived long enough to witness her son become the first President of the United States. The 44th US President, Bill Clinton, also never knew his father who died in a car accident in 1946, a few months before he was born.
Examples like these show how children’s lives don’t have to be anything less than great just because their family doesn’t fit the so-called ideal family set-up.
Children of unmarried or single parents, according to studies, are supposed to be failures. They are supposed to abuse drugs, and get pregnant or end up in prison.
I also know of so many Zimbabweans who were raised singlehandedly by single parents.
The late Bornwell Chakaodza, who became editor at one of Zimbabwe’s daily newspapers, always spoke passionately of his mother who sold illicit beer called kachasu in order for him and his siblings to go to school. They all graduated from universities, married and had children who equally have competed well with the rest of the country’s children academically. He died two years ago from bowel cancer.
President Robert Mugabe once said: “If you are man enough to have children, then you must be man enough to raise them.” This is a pregnant statement indeed.
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