Letter to my people: It is now a family affair in Zanu PF

Obituaries
Now you have it, Cde Amai has been inducted into the politburo as the secretary for environment and tourism. 

BY DOCTOR STOP IT

My Dear People

One of the things you accused me of was that I was overly ambitious and I wanted to succeed Baba.

You said Baba was now turning Zanu PF into a family organisation.

Now you have it, Cde Amai has been inducted into the politburo as the secretary for environment and tourism.

What’s going to stop her from demanding more?

I told you long back that this one was ambitious and was worse than me and you all thought it was a case of sour grapes.

Now you see.

Already, she dominates newspapers and our only television station of choice.

She’s literally building her base and soon she will strike, trust me.

Next step is a ministerial position, kkk. I don’t know what will come after that, kkk.

Speaking of families in the politburo, the loudmouth and verbose Cde Chris has joined his wife Cde Monica in that set up.

If any of you still thought Launchmore was a reformist then you have every reason to think again.

In Cde Chris, Launchmore is reverting to factory settings.

Cde Chris represents entitlement and is your typical hardliner that thinks Zanu PF is ordained to rule forever.

For the media, he doesn’t like to be challenged and hard questions are often met with hostility.

How many times has he walked out of interviews on TV and on radio in the past few years?

That’s the person that Cde Chris is.

Also, dear journalists, whenever Cde Chris is hosting a press conference, be sure to go with your dictionaries because that man loves big words.

Prof Jonso once said Joji thinks big words are synonymous with ideas. This aptly describes Cde Chris.

It’s going to be a long ride for journalists.

I am really tired of saying this, but it cannot be left unsaid.

This government is woefully terrible at communication.

A week ago, the world literally banned people from Southern Africa from flying anywhere following the discovery of the omicron variant of the coronavirus.

Ndavaningi took to Twitter to tell us why this was a bad idea and that it was based purely on politics rather than science.

He had barely pressed the tweet button when he returned to the platform to tell us that Zimbabwe had literally stopped anyone from flying into the country because of the omicron variant.

Without batting an eyelid, Ndavaningi took to defending the government’s position without as much acknowledging that just the previous day he was vehemently opposed to that position, saying the move wasn’t based on science.

And then he had the arrogance to say that anyone who can afford to fly can pay for quarantine for 10 days.

Such tone deafness should be illegal really.

Ndavaningi is really terrible at his job and he isn’t helping the government at all.

I understand civil servants have started receiving their US dollar bonuses.

This is good news for the civil servants who are barely managing to survive with the little they earn.

However, it’s an indictment on Cde Mthuli and it’s a sign that his main policy is not working.

A couple of years ago, Cde Mthuli declared the use of the US dollar illegal and decreed that the Zimbabwe dollar was the only legal tender.

Cde Mthuli tells anyone who cares to listen that he stabilised the local currency and that his auction system is working.

However, by paying civil servants’ bonuses in US dollars, Cde Mthuli is making a subtle admission that his signature policy has failed and that even he doesn’t have faith in the Zimbabwean dollar.

If he had faith and belief in the Zimbabwean dollar, he would have paid bonuses in local currency.

There seems to be a brouhaha over the bonus payments as some banks were said to be paying it in Zim dollars, while others were charging exorbitant withdrawal fees.

The government had to step in and threaten to deal with the banks.

It’s a pity the curfew hours have been extended, we were going to see how civil servants can spend money in shebeens and beer halls.

Also, I wonder if Cde Mthuli has seen the hundreds of people who literally sleep outside banks queuing for just US$50.

Those queues are a sign that people have no faith in the Zimbabwe dollar and want to dispose of it the moment they lay their hands on it.

Stop It!!!!!!

Munopengaaaaaaa

Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (FAKE)

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