Letter to my People: Strange things are happening in our politics

Obituaries
Launchmore has been accused of setting parallel structures and foregoing his party’s base.

BY DOCTOR STOP IT My Dear People I think we have all heard about Young Women 4ED, Man BelievED etc, but now the one that takes the cake is a teachers for economic development union.

It sounds innocuous on the face of it, but when you write Teachers4ED, you get the picture.

I don’t know how sycophantic you have to be to even think of such a name, but this is Zimbabwe, where anything is possible.

Launchmore has been accused of setting parallel structures and foregoing his party’s base.

It’s apparent that this is what is happening in this case.

If it works, good for him, but I have a feeling it will end badly.

And these so-called teachers for economic development are clearly not self-respecting, because if they were, they wouldn’t have thought of such an initiative.

According to our constitution, Launchmore won’t be in power at the latest by 2028, so what happens to the union with that name?

Will they change to Teachers for Generari or Teachers for NC? Kkk.

I had a bit of a brainwave myself, maybe so that they stop bothering me over the exhumation, I should form my own initiative Dr Amai for economic development or Dr Amai4ED, kkk.

Nah, that doesn’t sound right.

You know you are close to elections when people start claiming Ndebele heritage, kkk.

Some parts of Matabeleland have always been a difficult terrain for Zanu PF so the best way for people to worm themselves into the hearts of people of that area is to claim that they have some form of relationship with people of those areas.

A few years ago we were introduced to the legend of Ihlupeko.

I have no idea what that means, but this was supposed to be Launchmore’s name.

The tale sounded so made up that it wasn’t long before it was forgotten.

Now the Generari has resuscitated that legend.

Not only that, he has also come up with his own legend, that in fact he is of Ndebele heritage himself.

The Generari has gone on and on about this supposed heritage and it’s quite hilarious as it sounds made up.

I can hear some of you saying Baba also did the same, stop it! Kkk.

Baba was genuine and these others are just copying him because they think it works.

Speaking of Generari, there were rumours that he checked himself into a top end clinic the other day.

There have been stories in the past that he regularly checks himself into the centre.

This time the Generari would have none of it.

The next day, a video posted on Twitter by an account believed to be Joji’s showed the Generari on the phone speaking to someone.

The import of the video was to show the world that the Generari was in fact well and had only gone to visit a friend.

Fair enough, he had to dispel the rumours, but the way it was done was so childish and did not make sense.

If that was done by people who like to hog the limelight such as the likes of Temba, it would have been watchable.

But watching a whole Generari do that was quite cringing and they are better advised not to do that ever again.

Launchmore has posthumously declared Ndabaningi Sithole and James Chikerema national heroes.

The idea is probably to cast aspersions on Baba and make him look like an unreasonable man, who denied the two national heroes’ status.

To be fair, Launchmore sat in those meetings where heroes’ status was deliberated and there is no way he can pretend Baba made those decisions unilaterally.

But that’s a story for another day. As a PhD holder, I am well read and one of the books I read is by Cde Ndabaningi’s wife, Vesta.

Vesta narrates a tale about a man called Sakala who moved in with Cde Ndabaningi in the early 1980s.

She alleges that Sakala was connected to Launchmore.

As soon as Sakala moved in with the Sitholes, he started spying on them and was relaying crucial information about them to the government.

It gets worse, my people. Vesta says Sakala looked after Sithole for a while and would cook for him.

Not long before that, Sithole’s health started deteriorating.

When he went to hospital, the doctors said Sithole had been poisoned.

After the incident, Vesta said she never saw Sakala again, but later learnt of the man’s connection with Launchmore.

I am not making any allegations here, but just telling you what is written in a book I read.

So, when I heard the news about the hero’s status, I said to myself, this is nothing but crocodile tears.

Excuse the pun, kkkk.

Ntombizodwa Chete Chete!

Munhuwese kuna Amai!

Dr Amai Stop It! PhD (Fake)