CO-PARENTING has quietly become a defining feature of the modern Zimbabwean family.
Once rare and whispered about, it is now openly discussed in courtrooms, churches, workplaces and on social media.
Former partners raising children in separate households are no longer an exception; they are increasingly the norm. Some celebrate this as progress. Others see it as evidence of moral decline.
The truth, however, is more uncomfortable. The rise of co-parenting in Zimbabwe is neither purely a social victory nor a complete failure.
It reflects deeper economic, cultural and emotional shifts and often comes at a cost, frequently borne by children.
In Zimbabwe, marriage was traditionally upheld by strong extended family networks. Elders played a role in resolving disputes and families endured shocks collectively, with separation being rare, especially where children were involved.
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Couples often remained together, even when unhappy, because marriage was regarded as a lifelong, communal commitment.
However, this traditional system is weakening. Urban growth has fragmented extended families, work migration has dispersed spouses across borders and continents, and economic struggles have increased household stress.
Additionally, exposure to global ideas through media has shifted expectations about love, fulfilment and happiness.
Consequently, many relationships break down under these pressures. When they do, children stay with either parent and co-parenting becomes the only way to maintain parental responsibilities and support broken unions.
Zimbabwe’s ongoing economic crisis has significantly contributed to the increase in co-parenting.
Financial instability exerts intense pressure on relationships, with money disputes often concealing deeper issues such as unmet expectations, diminished dignity and unfulfilled roles.
Meanwhile, economic struggles also make single-parenting less feasible, as expenses such as school fees, healthcare, food, transportation and housing become unaffordable on a single income.
Even after separation, parents remain connected out of economic necessity, not choice. In this environment, co-parenting often results from circumstance rather than desire.
Changing gender roles have also transformed family dynamics. Women today are more educated, economically active and aware of their rights.
Many are no longer willing to stay in neglectful, abusive or chronically unstable relationships for appearances' sake.
This shift deserves recognition. At the same time, it has uncovered a significant gap: emotional readiness for shared parenting after separation.
Many men, socialised to see fatherhood mainly as financial support rather than emotional involvement, find it hard to adapt to more relational forms of parenting. Many women, burdened by past hurts, struggle to separate co-parenting duties from unresolved personal pain.
Furthermore, some women who can financially support their children still believe fathers should be the primary providers, and in cases where children live with them, may delay or withhold support while waiting for the father to contribute.
The outcome is not co-operative parenting but parallel hostility, where two adults are connected by children but separated by resentment.
Zimbabwe’s legal framework increasingly prioritises the child's best interests. Courts and child-rights organisations discourage parental abandonment, especially by fathers.
Laws on maintenance and custody encourage shared responsibility, which is a positive step. However, the law can enforce presence but cannot foster emotional maturity.
It can bring parents into the same space, but it cannot teach them to coexist peacefully. Consequently, many co-parenting arrangements are only formal, lacking true co-operation in spirit.
One of the most destabilising factors in co-parenting is remarriage. New spouses often enter arrangements burdened with insecurity, suspicion or unrealistic expectations. Step-parents may seek authority without first building trust.
Biological parents may feel replaced or undermined. Extended families frequently inflame tensions rather than ease them. Children, meanwhile, are caught in loyalty conflicts.
They learn to censor themselves, adjust personalities across households, and carry emotional burdens far beyond their age. In many cases, co-parenting becomes a quiet competition between households — who provides better, who is more respected, who “wins” the child.
Zimbabwean culture highly values respect, hierarchy and family honour. While these principles can be strengths, they may also complicate co-parenting. Pride often hinders honest communication, and in-laws can interfere aggressively.
Conflicts that should stay between adults sometimes spill into children’s lives. Frequently, co-parenting shifts from a focus on the child’s well-being to unresolved battles over control, validation or revenge.
The harm caused is rarely loud but silent, manifesting as anxious children, declining school performance, emotional withdrawal or quiet rebellion.
Is co-parenting better than staying together? This question divides society. The truth is uncomfortable: co-parenting is better than a violent or deeply toxic household, but it is not automatically better than a stable marriage strained by hardship. What matters is not the structure, but the emotional environment.
Children do not need perfect parents. They need emotionally safe ones. A hostile co-parenting arrangement can be just as damaging as a conflicted marriage, if not more so, because it stretches instability across multiple spaces.
The rise of co-parenting forces Zimbabwean society to confront difficult truths. We have changed our laws and social norms more quickly than our emotional skills. We promote shared parenting without offering guidance in conflict resolution. We normalise separation without prioritising healing.
Co-parenting can work, but only when adults put children above pride, resentment and cultural pressure. It requires boundaries, communication, consistency and emotional responsibility.
Without these, co-parenting becomes another form of instability dressed as progress. There is a need for maturity, not moral panic.
Co-parenting is not the enemy. Nor is it a miracle solution. It is a mirror reflecting who we are as a society, economically strained, culturally transitioning and emotionally underprepared.
If Zimbabwe is to protect its children, the conversation must shift from blame to responsibility.
We must invest not only in laws and rights, but in emotional literacy, counselling and honest community dialogue. Our children deserve more than parents who merely show up. They deserve parents who grow up.