AT 14, T’s life changed almost overnight when her parents went their separate ways. The adults around her said she would “adjust with time,” but no one noticed how deeply the separation affected her.
Her mother became focused on building a new marriage, while her father started over in another city with a different family. Even though both parents were alive, T slowly began to feel emotionally orphaned.
She stopped speaking much at home. Her grades declined. She spent more time alone. No one asked what she was carrying inside until a seemingly "concerned adult" started taking an interest in her. An older man entered her life with compliments, gifts and constant attention. To a child starved of affection, his interest felt comforting. What T could not recognise was manipulation disguised as care. She trusted him because he made her feel important at a time when she felt forgotten.
Months later, her parents discovered she was pregnant. Each parent immediately began accusing the other of failing their daughter. They failed to realise the uncomfortable truth: the child had been left emotionally exposed to exploitation when those who had a duty of care neglected her.
The hidden impact of separation on children
According to Judicial Service Commission statistics, Zimbabwe recorded 3 989 divorce applications in 2025, a 27% increase from the previous year (Pindula Crimes and Courts 2026), reflecting the growing number of children being raised in separated family structures. While ending a toxic or unhappy relationship may sometimes be necessary, children are sadly left alone to absorb the emotional shocks that follow. Children thrive on stability, affection and constant reassurance. When there is neglect, some children tend to seek comfort in friendships that can become dangerous for them. Others become vulnerable to exploitation from people who know exactly how to target neglected children. A child who feels unseen is easier to manipulate than one who feels protected.
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Why are many children at greater risk?
After separation, parenting structures become weak. Communication between parents breaks down. Supervision decreases and emotional support becomes inconsistent. Some parents become consumed by conflict, financial struggles or rebuilding their personal lives, unintentionally overlooking their children's emotional needs. In blended families, children may also struggle with feelings of rejection or replacement. They may hesitate to express hurt because they fear becoming a burden.
Economic hardship can deepen the problem. In some cases, children are sent to stay with relatives. Such relatives may not receive child support from the parents and so struggle to fully care for the neglected child. Some parents find it easier to offload their child into boarding school. Without close parental involvement, the child may rely heavily on outsiders for emotional support and guidance. Unfortunately, predators often identify children who lack full family support. They offer gifts and validation to gain trust. Many child targets stay silent because the abuse is tied to the only attention they feel they are receiving.
What should responsible parenting look like after separation?
Parents need to realise that when their relationship ends, parenting responsibilities do not end with it. Children still require emotional security from both parents, regardless of who lives where. One of the most important things separated parents can do is remain emotionally available.
A child should never feel abandoned simply because parents no longer live together.
Frequent communication, quality time and genuine interest in the child’s life help to preserve their sense of worth and belonging.
Children also need active guidance. Parents should know who influences their children, where they spend time and what challenges they may be facing. Protection is not about excessive control; it is about remaining involved enough to recognise danger before harm occurs. Equally important is creating a home environment where children can speak openly. Many children suffer in silence because they fear punishment or dismissal. Parents who listen without hostility make it easier for children to report inappropriate behaviour early.
Where remarriage occurs, children should not feel emotionally displaced by new partners or step-families. Parents must intentionally reassure them that they still matter and remain loved.
Financial support is another essential part of protection. Children whose needs are neglected may become vulnerable to exploitation by people who promise money, gifts or support. Providing for a child should never become a weapon in parental disputes.
Good co-parenting also matters. Even when parents disagree personally, they should still co-operate on matters affecting their child’s welfare. Children need consistency far more than they need conflict.
Parenting does not end when marriage does
Stories like T’s are becoming increasingly familiar in many families. Children caught in the middle of separation often carry emotional wounds that remain invisible until serious damage has already occurred. Blame cannot undo harm. Presence can help to prevent it. Parents do not have to remain together to raise secure and protected children. But they must remain emotionally connected to their child. A child can survive separation if parents intentionally plan their child’s welfare beyond divorce. If you are still alive, reflect on how involved you are in your child’s life. He or she may be crying out for help. Be attentive and concerned. Your child’s future depends on you!