The accusation broke Mrs. M.’s heart.
After forty-eight years of marriage, her husband looked her in the eye and said, “You’ve stolen my wallet.”
She stood frozen.
In all their years together, he had never accused her of stealing. They had built a home, raised children, celebrated milestones and weathered life’s storms side by side.
She knew the man standing before her. He was kind, honest and deeply devoted to his family.
“Let’s look for it together,” she said gently.
They searched every room in the house. He became increasingly anxious, insisting someone had taken it.
Finally, she opened the freezer to prepare supper and there it was - his wallet, neatly tucked beside a packet of frozen vegetables.
Relieved, she held it up with a smile.
“I’ve found it.”
Instead of laughing with relief, he frowned.
“That’s not my wallet,” he replied firmly.
Mrs. M. was devastated.
She wondered what had happened to the man she loved. Had someone bewitched him? Was this simply old age? Was he becoming mentally ill? Friends and relatives offered different explanations, but none seemed to make sense.
What Mrs. M. did not know was that her husband was not becoming suspicious.
His brain was changing.
He was living with dementia.
Sadly, stories like this are unfolding quietly in homes across Zimbabwe every day. Families are trying to make sense of changes they have never encountered before.
A parent begins asking the same question repeatedly. A grandparent forgets familiar faces. A respected elder becomes confused on roads they have travelled for years. A spouse accuses a loved one of stealing after misplacing treasured belongings.
Without understanding dementia, these changes are often interpreted through fear, misunderstanding or cultural beliefs.
Families are left feeling confused, isolated and ashamed. Too often, they suffer in silence.
That is why this conversation matters.
Welcome to Understanding Dementia, a weekly column dedicated to helping Zimbabweans understand one of the most misunderstood health conditions of our time.
My name is Ruth Memeza, founder and executive director of Dementia Awareness Zimbabwe (DEMAZ).
For many years I worked in the United Kingdom, training and assessing health and social care professionals in dementia awareness and person-centred care. Returning home, I realised that while dementia is becoming increasingly common, public understanding remains limited. Families are doing their best, but many simply do not have the information they need.
This column has been created for them.
It is also for every son and daughter caring for ageing parents, every grandchild trying to understand why Gogo or Sekuru is changing, every healthcare worker, every church leader, every employer, every policymaker and every Zimbabwean who believes that growing older should never mean losing one’s dignity.
So, what is dementia?
Dementia is not a single disease. It is a general term used to describe a group of diseases that affect the brain.
These diseases gradually damage memory, thinking, reasoning, communication and the ability to carry out everyday activities. Alzheimer’s disease is the most common form of dementia, but there are several others.
One of the biggest myths we must challenge is the belief that dementia is simply a normal part of ageing.
It is not.
Many older people occasionally forget where they placed their glasses or struggle to remember a name that comes back a few minutes later. Dementia is different. It gradually interferes with everyday life.
A person may become lost in familiar places, forget important appointments, repeat the same questions many times, struggle to follow conversations or find it difficult to complete tasks they once managed with ease.
These changes are caused by diseases affecting the brain-not by witchcraft, not by madness and not by a person’s character.
Perhaps the most important message I want to leave with you today is this:
The person is still there.
Dementia changes the brain, but it does not erase the person’s humanity. People living with dementia still experience love, joy, fear, sadness and comfort. They still need patience instead of criticism, reassurance instead of arguments and companionship instead of isolation. They still deserve to be treated with respect.
Our response can make all the difference.
Zimbabwe has always been known for its strong family values and the spirit of Ubuntu. Dementia gives us an opportunity to put those values into practice.
When we replace judgement with understanding and stigma with compassion, we build communities where older people are valued rather than feared, included rather than isolated, and supported rather than forgotten.
Over the coming months, this column will help us explore the warning signs of dementia, ways of reducing risk, practical caregiving skills, communication techniques, healthy ageing, legal and financial planning, the role of churches and communities, and how we can create a more dementia-friendly Zimbabwe.
My hope is that every week you will leave this page knowing a little more than you did before - and perhaps seeing someone you love through new eyes.
Because dementia is not just a medical issue.
It is a family issue.
A community issue.
A national issue.
And together, we can change the conversation.
Myth or fact?
Myth: Dementia is simply a normal part of getting older.
Fact: Dementia is caused by diseases affecting the brain. Although age is the greatest risk factor, dementia is not an inevitable part of ageing.
If memory or thinking changes begin to interfere with everyday life, they should be assessed by a healthcare professional.
DEMAZ practical tip
If someone you love is showing persistent changes in memory, thinking or behaviour, do not dismiss the signs as “just old age.” Encourage a medical assessment and continue treating the person with patience, kindness and respect. Early recognition can help families plan, access support and improve quality of life.
Until next week
Let us continue building a Zimbabwe where every person living with dementia is understood, supported and treated with dignity.