with TIM MIDDLETON THERE is the old joke that an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were stranded on a desert island when they came across a genie in a bottle granting them three wishes. The Englishman went first and said, “I miss the bustling streets of London, I wish to be sent back to England”.
His wish was granted and he was gone. The Scotsman was quick to follow and declared, “I miss the rolling green hills of Scotland. Let me go there”. His wish became reality. It was then the turn of the Irishman who thought deeply for a bit before speaking: “I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here”!
Of course, we may not be convinced there are genies in bottles (nor geniuses on desert islands) but when it comes to sport we might be persuaded there is magic in the sponge that miraculously enables injured players to get back up on their feet and participate fully in the action (though in reality everyone knows there is no magic needed to assist a tired player from buying time or a play-acting player from finding credibility).
The idea of magic in a bottle might be traced to the legendary character Getafix in the classic Asterisk cartoon stories who brewed a magic potion that gave the Gaul soldiers superhuman strength to overcome the marauding Romans.
Whatever it is, competitors need that decisive mysterious something to overcome difficulties and to defeat their opponents.
Many coaches will categorise this phenomenon as a player having ‘bottle’. This is generally defined as a special quality that a player either has or does not have by nature, an ability to perform under times of pressure (such is competition), a combination of courage, determination, nerve or simply guts.
Successful players, we are led to believe, must have ‘bottle’ – to have ‘bottle’ is a compliment. But is that something we can buy over the counter? Will we find it in a bottle?
Interestingly, however, the term that commentators or critics might use to describe someone who has not managed to handle the pressure that comes in sport is that he or she has ‘bottled it’. They have botched the decision, they have messed up the chance, they have missed the opportunity.
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A High Jumper typically might be seen to be so described when running up to the bar and backing out at the last minute. It is the inability to handle the situation mentally, be that a lack of courage, determination, nerve or simply guts. To bottle it, in this case, is not a compliment!
But then psychiatrists will no doubt tell us we should not bottle up our emotions, we should not suppress our innermost feelings, lest when pressure builds up everything will explode, damaging the bottle and impacting, even injuring, those nearby. We must not put anything in the bottle, we are advised – so, we have seen we are meant to have ‘bottle’ but we must not ‘bottle’ our chances!
‘Bottle’ perhaps is recognised to be that X Factor that will differentiate the great player form a good player and in that regard when we find we have it we will be encouraged to put it in a bottle where we can bring it out whenever needed, and where we can allow it to mature and improve, like a good wine, for when we next wish to taste it. So, yes, bottle it!
We need that magic potion, that superhuman quality that will help us have all our dreams and wishes come true.
In the Disney classic, Aladdin’s three wishes from the genie were for him to become a prince, for him to be saved from drowning and for him to enable the genie to be free.
Our children may be encouraged to have three similar wishes, to gain high status, to be spared from drowning in defeat (or delight) and to help others discover their sporting freedom. The answer for them though is not found to be in a bottle, a lamp or a sponge. It is when they discover the bottle within. No magic is required.
So where is all this taking us? In sport, we need ‘bottle’ to face the battles before us. However, letting the genie out of the bottle may make a great, permanent but often bad change in people’s lives. We must warn our children to be careful what they ask for, to think carefully of the potential consequences of their wishes, lest they also end up once again back on a desert island.
We do not want to bottle this up, not least as failure to maximise our sporting performance could all too easily turn adults to the bottle.
But when we do achieve success, we can no doubt celebrate by cracking open the bottle. Are we confused? Not as much as the Englishman or Scotsman!
- Tim Middleton is a former international hockey player and headmaster, currently serving as the Executive Director of the Association of Trust Schools Email: [email protected]
