B was 15 when his parents separated. At first, he stayed with his mother, but after she remarried, things changed. Her new husband made it clear he did not want a “burden” in the house. B, who was already struggling to adjust, began spending more time outside the home with friends in the neighbourhood.
These friends became his support system. They understood his frustrations or so it seemed. What started as harmless hanging out soon turned into skipping school, drinking alcohol and eventually petty theft. He desperately wanted to belong.
When B’s behaviour worsened, his mother sent him to his father. However, his father, who had started a new family, refused to take him in, saying he could not disrupt his household with a “problem child whose mother had failed to groom.” With nowhere to go, B ended up living on the streets.
Eventually, he was arrested for theft and placed in a juvenile institution. When it was time for release, both parents refused to take him back, each blaming the other and fearing how he would affect their new relationships and their younger children. B returned to the streets with fewer options than before.
Understanding the real problem
It is important to be clear that divorce is the precursor to several children going astray. While some children do well in separated families, statistics show that delinquency occurs about 10-15% more often among children of divorced parents and in some cases, the risk of aggressive behaviour and criminal involvement can be nearly double compared to children raised by both parents (van de Weijer et al., 2015). The real problem is how separation turns into neglect as parents withdraw emotionally, physically, or financially from their children’s lives.
Without close supervision, the streets may become a second home and friends become a substitute family. While some peers may offer positive influence, most introduce risky behaviours such as substance use and petty crime. Because of this, children can easily drift into delinquency, not because they are inherently “bad,” but because they are seeking belonging and attention that are missing at home.
Rejection deepens the problem
One of the most damaging responses from parents is rejection after a child has already started getting into trouble. Instead of stepping in, some parents distance themselves further, especially when they have remarried. Children may be labelled as “difficult” or “criminal,” and new spouses may resist having them in the home.
This rejection reinforces the very behaviour parents fear. When a child feels unwanted, they are more likely to return to the streets and negative peer groups where they feel accepted. Without family support, rehabilitation becomes difficult and many children fall into a cycle of offending and arrest. Upon release from prison or rehabilitation, such children are most likely to return to the same conditions that led them into trouble in the first place. The cycle continues: neglect leads to vulnerability, leads to delinquency and without parental support, the system struggles to break the pattern.
Parents need to understand the following:
Their role does not end when a child becomes difficult. In fact, this is when parenting is needed the most. Rejecting a child because of their behaviour only pushes them further into harm. Instead, parents should remain present and actively involved, even when it is challenging.
Maintaining a relationship with the child is critical. Regular communication, visits and expressions of concern can help the child to feel valued and less isolated. Even when a child has made mistakes, they need reassurance that they still belong in the family.
Parents should also work to understand the root causes of the child’s behaviour. Delinquency is often a symptom of deeper issues such as neglect, emotional pain or lack of structure. Addressing these underlying factors is more effective than punishment.
In blended families, intentional effort must be made to integrate children rather than exclude them. New spouses and family members should be encouraged to support, not reject, the child. A united approach within the household can provide stability and reduce conflict.
Seeking support from extended family, community leaders, schools, or social services can also help. Parenting in difficult situations should not be done in isolation. Guidance, counselling and mentorship can play a key role in redirecting a child’s path. The Department of Social Development has strong community support structures that can help families with delinquent children.
Importantly, parents must be willing to receive their children back after detention or institutional care. Reintegration into a supportive home environment is one of the most effective ways to prevent re-offending. Refusing to take a child back only increases the likelihood that he or she will return to the streets and repeat the cycle.
Breaking the cycle
B’s story reflects a broader reality. When children are left to navigate life without guidance, they often turn to the streets. When they make mistakes and are then rejected by the very people meant to protect them, the chances of recovery become even slimmer. Being a parent does not end when a child becomes difficult, nor does it end with divorce or remarriage. Children need consistent care, guidance and acceptance, especially when they go astray.
If parents step away, the burden does not disappear as it shifts to the child, the community and the child protection system. But when parents remain present, even in difficult circumstances, they can change the trajectory of their child’s future. No child should have to turn to the streets or face the justice system alone because of parental neglect. Successful parenting means being present in all circumstances good and bad.