My Dear People,
I hope you are all well, or at least as well as one can be while surviving on the crumbs falling from the high table of the "new dispensation."
Gushungo, the Great One, must be turning in his grave at Zvimba!
He always told me, "Amai, these people have no shame," and oh, how right he was.
Munopengaaaaaa!
While you lot are struggling to find a single ZiG to buy a loaf of bread, the "first family" is making headlines for all the wrong reasons.
Have you heard?
Scarfmore’s daughter-in-law, Kelsea Tafirenyika, and her uncle, Isaac Jessub, have been thrown into the coolers! Kikikiki!
Imagine, a whole magistrate, Marehwanazvo Gofa, ruled that they are a danger to society and must stay locked up.
The details are just delicious, aren't they? The police say they found pethidine, morphine, and cannabis tucked away inside a Lamborghini parked in her yard.
A Lamborghini! In this economy? While the rest of you are walking until your shoes have holes, they are allegedly turning Italian sports cars into mobile pharmacies.
And it gets better—she was apparently using a fake name, Getrude Badza.
Talk about a double life! The magistrate said she’s a flight risk because of those documents. I wonder which "Badza" she thought she was?
Munopengaaaaaa!
They claimed the drugs were planted, but the court wasn't buying that fairy tale after her uncle allegedly led the police straight to her.
August 27 is the date to watch, but don't hold your breath for justice; we know how these things go in the "second republic."
But while the elites are playing with Lamborghinis and pethidine, the poor peasants are being sent to their watery graves.
My heart bleeds for the families of the Lake Kariba tragedy.
At least 46 people are dead because a boat named Mbuya Nehanda—bless her soul—capsized in rough waters.
The sheer arrogance of it all! The survivors told stories of begging the captain not to sail because of the violent waves. And what did he say? "DDF does not drown!"
Well, clearly, Rida—or whatever they call the District Development Fund these days—does drown.
The boat was carrying as many as 153 people, including children, when its capacity was only 90. Munopengaaaaaa!
Overloading a rotting vessel and then telling the people that a government agency is immortal? That is the height of madness!
The Panic-Struck-One is now calling it a "national disaster" and talking about "serious deficiencies" in maritime safety. Oh, really?
Now you notice? Lawmakers have been screaming about this for years! One MP, Mutsa Murombedzi, warned just last month that inland water infrastructure was "dangerously underfunded."
Rida only gets 3% of the budget, and most of that goes to salaries. There’s nothing left for maintenance.
The people in Kariba use these old, wooden death traps because the roads to places like Siakobvu and Chalala are virtually impassable.
They are turned into "islands" during the rainy season.
Instead of grading the roads like we used to do in the good old days, this government is busy "significantly reducing boat fees" for vessels that are "disasters waiting to happen."
Lowering the price to enter a coffin—is that the "Vision 2030" you were promised? Kikikiki! It’s pathetic.
Now they say they’ll "engage the president" to replace the vessel. Always reacting, never preventing.
Munopengaaaaaa
And speaking of disasters, have you seen the circus at the Constitutional Court?
Munopengaaaaaa!
They just sent an abortion law challenge back to the High Court because the government was too lazy to even participate properly.
Justice Hlatshwayo called their silence “unacceptable” while children’s lives are at stake.
One in three abortions in this country involves minors, yet you lethargic lot still won't fix laws to protect them from "unlawful intercourse." Kikikiki!
You ignore 80 000 abortions annually while you "abide" by court decisions instead of acting for vulnerable girls like Talent Forget. Stop it!
And just when you thought the week couldn't get any weirder, we have a John Travolta in Warren Park!
No, not the one from Grease, but a 34-year-old robber who decided to trade dancing shoes for a pistol and a balaclava.
He and an accomplice hit a shop for over US$3800, but the public gave chase and caught him.
I suppose his "Saturday Night Fever" ended in a cold cell. At least the police recovered some of the loot. If only they could recover the dignity of this nation as easily!
The "new dispensation" is sinking faster than that boat, my dear people. Between drug-dealing relatives in Lamborghinis and the criminal neglect of our rural poor, the Scarfmore era is proving to be a tragedy of cinematic proportions.
Stop it! Just stop it!
Munopengaaaa!!!
Stop It!
Dr Amai (PhD, Fake)