"Do you know who I am?” How often have we heard that? Clearly the speaker thinks everyone should and must know who he is but the fact that he has to ask indicates what has not occurred to him, that not everyone does (or needs to) know him. As Margaret Thatcher, the first lady Prime Minister of Britain, once said, “Being powerful is like being a lady: if you have to tell people you are, you are not”. However, such people like to surround themselves with boot-licking obsequious sycophants who seek to gain favour, wax lyrical and eulogize excessively about this - and who ultimately end up as someone else who will ask that very same question: do you know who I am?
Such a question breeds and breathes arrogance. In previous articles we have reviewed how the real three A*s we should want for our children (which is what universities and employers want, after all) are Accountability, Availability and Adaptability – and that the A our children should major in is Attitude more than Aptitude, yet here we note sadly that the Attitude with an A* that many folk will demonstrate and even desire is Arrogance. In contrast, quality leaders demonstrate humility.
Consider how different dictionaries define arrogance: an offensive attitude of superiority shown especially by excessively confident or rudely dismissive behaviour; the quality of being unpleasantly proud and behaving as if you are more important than, or know more than, other people; an exaggerated sense of one›s own importance or abilities, strong pride or acting extremely self-important; rejecting truth because you believe you own it, looking down on others, and thinking you’re better due to wealth, race, gender, or religion; a developed attitude based on what one is unable to admit to seeing what one is yet ignorant of. Does that sound attractive, desirable even?
Such arrogance may be found in those who accuse others of faults in a subtle attempt to deflect blame for their own many shortcomings. They avoid their own responsibility by questioning others under their charge (officially or unofficially). They applaud mediocrity yet demand applause in return, with subservient assistants calling for more applause, louder applause (applause should only be given if deserved and uninvited). They love protocol to underline their sense of importance, even requiring someone to introduce someone else to introduce another to introduce another to introduce the speaker with long outpourings of praise of achievements gained in all sorts of levels. They accentuate a sense of ‘above-ness’, being above others and above question. They demand attendance at the click of a finger, expecting others to drop everything else, yet they will ignore a commitment to one event when something apparently more prestigious or better for their own cause comes up. And no-one must question them – the height of arrogance.
The question may be: who teaches people to be arrogant? The fact is obviously that no child is ever taught (officially or even verbally) to be arrogant, but they may actually be rewarded for being arrogant and also be given an example on how to be arrogant. We promote certain people to be above others by the way we present prizes, awards, Colours, rarely based on character or attitude. The word ‘Seniors’ disguises the word ‘Superiors’, people granting themselves certain privileges and honours, from being able to arrive late, jump a queue, wear different uniforms, have different standards. They see adults going to higher authorities to gain their own personal advantage, even when in the wrong. They watch drivers overtake blindly, flash lights at those who may be in the way and demand others must let them in. They learn soon enough that such behaviour pays off.
Who we are is more important than what we do. Arrogance is confidence bastardised. Arrogance is the viper, the snake, that sneaks in surreptitiously but here is the thing, though: VIP could equally stand for Vain Invidious Parasite. If we are up in arms at the very suggestions or implications above, it may be a further sign of arrogance. The reality is perhaps that the arrogant are in fact ignorant, as they cannot (or will not) see beyond their reflection, that they are not in fact any better or more important than others. As in George Orwell’s Animal Farm, they hold on to the declaration that “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others”. Some are VIPs, others are not content with that but are VVIPs, yet all the time we live in a world that espouses Ubuntu. Do we not understand that? Is arrogance really the A we want for our children?