My Dear People
It would be remiss of me to begin my first missive of 2026 without wishing you all a happy new year as you all try to keep your heads above water under this dispensation of poverty, darkness and confusion.
Amid much uncertainty over what the year might bring, one can be assured that we will be subjected to abundant levels of incompetence from this so-called second repubric in the next 12 months .
I would like to look at some of the mindboggling ineptness the country’s citizens had to endure or witness in the past year and boy were they plenty!.
Munopengaaa!!!
There was stiff competition for the worst performing minister of 2025.
The Nutty professor at Treasury gave it a good go as he attempted to destroy the little confidence the country’s citizens have in the banking sector by imposing a tax on Zimbabweans, who withdraw their hard-earned money from the various financial institutions.
He eventually backed down after a huge backlash to the preposterous proposal.
On the health front Dougie was also in the running after having to eat humble pie after attacking the youthful Tino for pointing out the catastrophic state of the health sector only for Ngwena to concur with the young minister’s findings.
The continued unavailability of cancer machines despite the collection of more than US$30 million in sugar tax also made Dougie a strong contender for the mampara minister of the year.
However, that accolade goes to the loudmouth Danny at Local Government, who announced a blanket ban on night vending and sale of second hand clothes.
This would have affected thousands of Zimbabweans who eke out a living through vending after being impoverished by the bankrupt scorched earth polices of the Scarfmore regime.
In typical buffoonery style, the bald headed minister made a volte face on his pronouncement probably after a tongue lashing at Munhumutapa Building.
Needless to say the ban has been totally ignored, exposing Danny for being out of touch.
The Local Government minister, who spent more time advocating for the extension of the vapid leadership of Ngwena to 2030 than working on his core mandate, is hands down the worst minister of 2025.
Munopengaaa!!!
There is never any shortage of gaffes in this dispensation of poverty, darkness and confusion and the past year was no different.
The revelation by grain millers that they were struggling to procure grain after the Lacoste regime had told the country that the grain silos were filled to the brim, would, in any other year, probably have been the most embarrassing episode in the chaotic leadership of this regime, catapulted into power on the back of guns and tanks as well as dodgy polls that were even panned by regional body Sadc.
It, however, cannot trump the embarrassment of the Scarfed One having to read his State of The Nation with the aid of a torch in Parliament.
The power outage caused so much embarrassment that a senior official at Zesa was suspended as a result.
This was undoubtedly the most embarrassing episode of 2025.
Munopengaaa!!!
The most shocking revelation of the failure of this regime to adhere to set laws and procedures in 2025 had quite a few contenders, not least that by the Auditor General that more than half a million United States dollars is unaccounted for.
This scandalous revelation was blown out of the water by the shameful exposure of the splurging of nearly US$400 000 to renovate the residence of the senate president Mabel ignoring tender procedures in the process.
Among the mindboggling revelations was that at a time when nearly half the country are knee deep in poverty, a staggering US$64 000 was spent on curtains for Mabel’s home.
That even the varakashi, who are paid to defend the Ngwena regime and attack its critics, were left dumbfounded and mumbling silly conspiracy theories, shows that it was by far the most scandalous and shocking revelation of 2025.
Munopengaaa!!!
The craze to defend the vacuous leadership of Ngwena reached fever pitch in 2025 with the formation of quite some ridiculous groupings.
Among them, is the formation of the group TopSoup 4 ED which has caused an uproar even within the ruining party Zanu PF.
The grouping, which is usually comprised of scantily dressed young females has caused a stir and dismissed by some in the party as “exploitation wrapped in party slogans” and as an attempt to objectify women under the guise of empowerment.
This grouping had a good shout for being the most ridiculous formation of a grouping.
However, that gong goes to the the formation of a group which calls itself the Zimbabwe Anti - Presidential Criticism shows that democracy under the regime of the Scarfed One is rapidly going down the toilet.
The spokesman of this shadowy grouping has ordered Zimbabweans to stop ‘criticising the president’.
It is embarrassing and shameful that in this day and age we have efforts to stop the criticism of a head of state especially one who has failed dismally on so many levels making it the most preposterous formation of 2025.
Munopengaaaaaaaa
Stop It!
Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (Fake)