In this insightful edition of In Conversation with Trevor, the host Alpha Media Holdings chairman Trevor Ncube (TN) sits down with clinical psychologist Dr Olga Filippa Nel (OF) to demystify the "couch" and explore the profound impact of mental health support.
Moving beyond headlines, they delve into the vital role of accountability, noting that sharing goals can boost success by a staggering 86%.
From the grassroots success of the Friendship Bench to the intimacy of personal journaling, Filippanel explores how facing difficult internal conversations leads to genuine growth.
his dialogue serves as a compelling reminder that vulnerability is a bridge to becoming our best selves. Below are excerpts from the interview.
TN: Welcome to In Conversation with Trevor, brought to you by Heart and Soul Broadcasting Services. I go beyond the headlines and the sensational. Today, I am in conversation with Dr Olga Filippa Nel, a clinical and educational psychologist and author.
OF: Trevor, thank you for having me. I am honoured to be your guest today. I’m excited because the roles are reversed today.
TN: You get to sit on the couch, and I get to dig into your brain and your soul to see what makes you tick. It will make me more empathetic, I am sure. Now, Olga, I have this belief that all of us must have a therapist—that each one of us should see a therapist at least once a year. What do you think?
OF: Wow, Trevor. In a perfect world, that would be my dream as well. I know that things like financial constraints and accessibility are hurdles, but it would be fantastic. If not that, then you need someone you can actually talk to — someone you’re comfortable sharing with.
TN: I’m always inspired by the work of professor Dixon Chibanda and his Friendship Bench—how using the resources we have locally, like our grandmothers, has reached so many people and is making such a difference, not just in Zimbabwe but worldwide. Why is therapy important?
OF: I think it helps you to reflect and process. Many of my patients, especially men, love the accountability that therapy brings. They commit to something, they are determined, and hopefully, they’re a little scared of having to tell me they didn't meet their targets. I am joking, but it does help to have that. It has been proven that having accountability and sharing a goal with someone can increase your likelihood of meeting that target by something incredible, like 86%.
TN: Suppose financial conditions don't allow someone to pay for a therapist. What is the best way to encourage that environment of being accountable to someone? Given what is around us, what are the best means to do that?
OF: Identifying someone within your community that you can share with—someone who is there for you, who can be objective, and sometimes even a little hard — does help. There are many organisations now focusing on mental health and trying to reach everyone. My work started in schools, and I still work very closely with them. We have fantastic counsellors and teachers who are so passionate about the students; they really do change lives.
TN: Are you at liberty to name some of these organisations that people could reach out to? Apart from yourself, of course — we are going to share your details with the viewers later.
OF: Many of our universities, for example, have dedicated facilities staffed by our wonderful psychology students. Schools have counsellors and teachers who counsel. The Friendship Bench, of course, is inspirational, but there are many projects around that really do make a difference.
TN: Let’s make this personal for a moment. I started working with a therapist about 20 years ago, and I found that very useful. Whenever I have issues that are challenging, I have someone to go to. But I also have an accountability partner—a friend who holds me to goals and questions certain things I do. I also have a personal pastor who sits down with me and asks, "Why did this happen? You said you were going to do this, and it did not happen." I’ve found that very helpful. Any pushback to what I’ve just shared?
OF: Absolutely not. I think you have a fantastic team on board. I would encourage everyone to reach out within their family, friendship, or spiritual support systems and to write things down.
TN: Write things down?
OF: Write things down. Visualising is important. Journaling works if you like journaling. Someone like you, Trevor, who comes from a journalism background, I should think would love that. But for some people I work with, such as students with learning difficulties or dyslexia, the written form is torture.
There are ways of using technology or point forms to achieve the same aims. We don't have to go into the "dear diary" heartfelt style; we can commit our intentions through practical tools like a SWOT analysis. Visuals are so important, which is why vision boards are so effective. I did one decades ago when vision boards were first becoming part of mental health and wellbeing. I have kept it framed in my office ever since. It not only reminds me what I wanted to achieve, but it shows me what I have achieved. It truly does work and it is inspirational.
TN: Wonderful. Let’s go to the work you do right now. Describe to us what you do.
OF: It is very diverse. I try to support people on their personal journeys to become the best versions of themselves—identifying their personal value systems and living consistently with them.
That involves processing trauma, if necessary, or optimising relationships and helping them have difficult conversations with themselves and others.
TN: Having difficult conversations with yourself—imagine how many times a day we avoid that. Do you get the sense that we are a society capable of engaging with those conversations on a daily basis?
OF: I think we have the potential to do so, and some people definitely do. As a human race, we are wired to move away from pain and towards pleasure. If you put the word "difficult" in front of "conversation," you can imagine where that leads. And yet, it is from the difficult conversations with yourself that you grow.We grow and we improve. It is through difficult conversations with loved ones that relationships get better. I believe we are a product of our environment and those who surround us. We are not loners by nature; we need community, support, and love. It is important to optimise those relationships—to create an environment where I can be honest and open, where I can ask for help when I am not coping, and where it is okay not to be okay. To make myself vulnerable—and it begins at home.
“In Conversation With Trevor” is a weekly show brought to you by Heart and Soul Broadcasting Services.