While many people today claim that HIV and Aids are no longer as frightening as they were 10 to 20 years ago, the truth is that fear, shame, and stigma still persist.
The fact that some individuals remain uncomfortable disclosing their status or taking antiretroviral therapy (ART) publicly tells a different story.
More work is needed to create an environment where people feel safe, accepted, and free from judgment.
Disclosure plays a crucial role in easing the emotional burden for people living with HIV, as well as for those around them.
It is particularly important in relationships and marriages, where honesty allows individuals to make informed decisions about their future together.
When I tested positive in 1999, I felt a strong obligation to disclose my status — first to my wife of 10 years, after recovering from tuberculosis, which led to my diagnosis.
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My intention was to give her the freedom to decide whether to continue our life together or to move on with our two young children, who were then aged five and eight.
Although my wife chose not to get tested at the time due to fear of a positive result, we made informed decisions about our relationship, including practising protected sex for the next 18 years.
Unknown to us then, she was already HIV positive, as was our daughter, who had been born with the virus in 1994. Both later tested positive.
One of the greatest challenges in the HIV landscape today is the rise of relationships and marriages where partners do not test together.
In some cases, individuals knowingly conceal their positive status for fear of rejection.
Additionally, many young people born HIV positive are now adults entering relationships.
Because they often appear healthy, their status may go unnoticed — yet failure to disclose can lead to serious consequences when the truth eventually emerges.
Disclosure is essential for building trust, making informed choices, and sustaining long-term relationships.
My own marriage has lasted 37 years because we chose honesty over temporary comfort.
Similarly, our daughter — born HIV positive — has been in a stable marriage for 10 years, also grounded in openness.
Love and marriage are gifts from God, and nothing should stand in the way of two people choosing to be together — even if one partner is HIV positive.
What matters most is honesty. Judging someone’s HIV status based on physical appearance is misleading; many people who appear healthy may still be living with HIV.
The only reliable way to know one’s status is through proper testing.
There is no harm in people of different HIV statuses entering relationships or marriage, as long as they do so with full knowledge and understanding.
Those who discover they are HIV positive while in a relationship should not hesitate to inform their partners, allowing both parties to make informed decisions.
Our family stands as a testament to living positively with HIV for over 30 years.
I am deeply grateful to God for the unwavering support of my wife, children, and friends throughout this journey.
Without disclosure, faith, and that support system, my story might have been very different.
Next week, I will explore why I strongly believe that disclosure plays a critical role in HIV prevention and mitigation.
I have also written a book chronicling my journey titled The Extra Time. Copies are available for $10 (cash) or $11 via EcoCash. Those interested can contact me on the number below: