Owner is God’s personal gift

Muckraker is thoroughly impressed by the quantity and quality of people who are queuing up to lend their solid support to the Constitutional Amendment Number 3.

Amid confirmation of the obvious — in the Ibetshu Likhazulu debacle — that the Nutty Professor is the brains behind this whole project, this week we had Cde Munyaradzi Paul Mangwana (pictured) joining in to explain to obdurate Zimbos the constitutionality of the unconstitutional exploits in convoluted legal terms.

Only last week, Cde Dr Masimba Mavaza, another weighty legal mind, who is based in the United Kingdom, was doing the same thankless job … expounding the virtues of the ongoing work to secure the future of the country by aligning the supreme law of the land to the wishes and aspirations of the people. Only that human beings being human beings, there is no shortage of those who are never appreciative.

If there is one area of convergence of mind among all progressive Zimbos, it is on ensuring that Owner goes nowhere. Every right-thinking and patriotic Zimbo knows that Owner is God’s personal gift to this country, so seeking to force him to abandon his God-assigned duty of leading this country to the promised land of milk and honey on the silly account of a mere piece of paper is sheer madness, as it is in actual fact an act of rebelling against the good Lord Himself.

Everyone, including those in the opposition, is pleased to have Owner at the help ad infinitum … even the boy himself is not opposed to 2030, which is why he has since embarked on his own “No to 2050” campaign, so that he appears to be opposed to something as an opposition someone, rather than to be quiet when it is good to be seen making some noises. Everyone is just happy, very happy, to have Owner around.

Seemingly normals

• MUCKRAKER: Crooks are having a field day while Chris keeps blabbering
• Muckracker: Scarf on high demand
• Thank God, Muckraker recovering from recent ‘vene vayo’ rib crackers!
• It’s back to the old, tired ‘sanctions’ mantra again

This week an Old Mutual manager was jailed 15 years for helping himself to a hapless intern. Muck knows many seemingly normal people, including pastors, fathers, politicians, CEOs and professional colleagues, are always following such cases with bated breaths, just praying hard that their own cases remain buried.

If anything, this lot is actually furious privately, convinced — in the private forum of their own warped conscience — that this is so unfair considering that this is something that almost everyone is doing. To them, almost every other person is taking advantage of whoever they can, so for that reason, it should be normal.

We are living in a fallen world for real where even pastors are spending more time defending themselves in the dock than on the pulpit. Muck can swear that actually if every one of these perverts were ever going to be rounded up and locked away, very few people would be left out … just as the Epstein files can testify.

Someone drew Muck’s attention to something equally important. That this is also exactly what is being done to the country’s supreme law, with the sick perfectly cheering it on.

In Chimanimani, a police officer is facing murder charges after he — in his drunken state — allegedly decided that the best way to reduce a difficult suspect to size was to shave off his beard … and to do that, he decided to use a knife, in the process fatally cutting the victim’s throat open. Someone is doing exactly that to the country’s Constitution. The police officer just appears just to be unlucky because this is what those other people have been doing to Zimbos for many, many years … just that they are the law themselves.

That is the same fate that Zimbos have faced and continue facing … Aren’t some animals more equal than others?

Good, very good

We are very pleased that the alleged son of former Owner, who is facing very grave charges in the neighbouring country, after hiring the best legal mind available in that jurisdiction, has decided to abandon pursuit for bail and instead enter a plea bargain deal in order to get a somehow lighter sentence (for the same crimes he says never committed!)

This is so pleasing as it will serve as a salutary lesson to all those who think they can decide to insult Owner and get away with it. Over the past few years, the boy had made it a hobby poking funny at Owner, making insinuations that he was not a blessing to the country, when in actual fact that is what he really is … God’s choicest gift to this country. So, for offending … the good Lord Himself, the boy is now going to face the music … we hope others too, will learn something about the consequences of insulting the sun!

Welcome to the blanket

M

uck is pleased to welcome his old friend Cde Didymus Mutasa back to national duty. Cde Mutasa, at the ripe age of 90, has been appointed to the Elders’ Council of the ruining party, so that “the Party” and the nation at large can tap into his wealth of experience in running (down) the country.

Having originally dismissed himself from “the Party” in 2015 on account of his backing the treasonous presidential ambitions of former vice-president Joice Mujuru, his return is a perfect warning example to those who are into some mischief of sorts, especially in this season of constitutional vandalisation, that life outside of the “the Party” is so, so cold as to be worse than no life at all. We hope those to whom this object lesson is intended take it seriously.

Sorry apologies

Were it not for its effect on the cost of living, Muck was not going to mind the war that is raging in the Middle East. But he has to mind. In doing that, he is getting more confused by each day that passes. Initially, we were told that the intention was to stop the Mullahs from getting nuclear weapons.

Then we were told that the war’s aim was regime change, as in setting the people of Iran “free”. Then we were told about missiles, defence and pre-emptive strikes. Now we are told that there had been a plot to assassinate Lord Trump … the stories keep on changing … no one can tell the direction that the war is going and Trump keeps on indicating right, but turning left, or sometimes even going straight … that is what is making the whole thing unpredictable. But one thing is for sure … this war is refusing to go in the direction that those who started it want it to … it is just too stubborn like the Mullahs themselves.

Just like Muck indicated last week, who is he to resist the temptation of reliving another Goliath-David episode? It gives lodes of hope to all the people of the world that are being bullied around by the (seemingly) mighty, including Zimbos.

But for the sharp fuel price increases: those of us old enough to know Ian Smith start missing him, he was a real leader, resourceful under real sanctions, not the sorry apologies that we have, that think people’s lives are a business from which to make jaw-dropping profits.