HARDLY a day passes without reports of women or men falling victim to domestic violence. While much attention rightly focuses on adult survivors, the hidden victims are often the children who witness the abuse.
This article examines domestic violence from a child-protection perspective and appeals to both perpetrators and adult victims to recognise its devastating impact on children.
Understanding domestic violence
Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behaviour used to gain or maintain power and control over another person within an intimate or family relationship. It includes physical, emotional, psychological, sexual and economic abuse, as well as intimidation and coercive control (WHO, 2021).
Children experience domestic violence in different ways: some witness assaults directly, others hear it from another room, and some are injured trying to intervene. Unicef's Behind Closed Doors: The Impact of Domestic Violence on Children (2006) found that simply witnessing or hearing domestic violence can be as emotionally damaging as being directly abused.
How children are affected
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Children in violent homes often live in constant fear and uncertainty.
Even without physical assault, the trauma can leave lasting emotional, psychological and physical scars.
Many develop anxiety, depression, anger, confusion or guilt, believing they could have prevented the violence. Prolonged stress can also interfere with healthy brain development, making it harder for children to regulate emotions and behaviour.
Many develop anxiety, depression, anger, confusion or feelings of guilt, believing they could have prevented the violence. Prolonged exposure to fear and stress can also interfere with healthy brain development, making it harder for children to regulate emotions and behaviour.
The US Centres for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC, 2024) identifies witnessing domestic violence as an adverse childhood experience that can increase the risk of lifelong emotional, behavioural and physical health problems.
Domestic violence can change the way children behave. Some become aggressive towards their siblings, classmates or friends, while others become quiet and withdrawn. They may have temper tantrums or struggle to control their emotions.
Research by Gilbert et al. (2009) found that children exposed to violence are more likely to bully others, engage in criminal behaviour, misuse alcohol or drugs, or participate in risky sexual behaviour. Boys may imitate violent behaviour they observe, while girls may be more likely to accept abusive relationships later in life.
The physical effects can be equally damaging. Chronic exposure to fear creates what experts describe as "toxic stress," which weakens the immune system and increases the risk of headaches, stomach ailments, sleep disorders and chronic diseases later in life. Shonkoff et al. (2012) also found that prolonged toxic stress can have lifelong consequences for physical and mental health.
Some children are physically injured while trying to protect a parent or become unintended victims during violent confrontations. Tragically, there have been cases where infants and young children have been killed during domestic disputes.
Violence at home often affects children's education. Anxiety, emotional distress, disrupted sleep and unstable living conditions make it difficult to concentrate, complete schoolwork or attend classes consistently. Some children fall behind academically after families flee abusive situations.
Without adequate support, such educational disturbances can affect their future prospects.
Domestic violence also shapes how children understand relationships. Growing up in violent households can normalise abuse, increasing the likelihood that they will either become victims or perpetrators of violence in adulthood.
The CDC (2024) and Felitti et al. (1998) found that adults who witnessed domestic violence as children face higher risks of depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, substance abuse, suicidal behaviour and other chronic health problems.
How to protect children
Although the effects of domestic violence are serious, recovery is possible.
Children who receive early counselling, live in safe and stable environments, and are supported by caring adults are far more likely to recover and lead healthy, productive lives. The sooner they receive help, the better their chances of healing.
Families, communities and institutions all have a responsibility to protect children by speaking out against domestic violence, challenging attitudes that excuse abuse and encouraging survivors to seek help without fear or stigma.
The law provides avenues for protection, but lasting change begins in our homes.
Every adult who chooses dialogue over violence helps break the cycle of abuse.
In the end, the greatest beneficiaries of peaceful homes are the children, who deserve to grow up safe, healthy and free from fear.