ONE challenge is working under a difficult leader.
Over the years, I have had lousy leaders lead me and I know the pain of having to report daily to face them.
I have met such leaders in my leadership training sessions, it had to convince them, but there is always a way out.
If you have such a leader now, I feel sorry for you.
It makes it hard to be free, especially in expressing your mind and ideas.
As such, dealing with a difficult leader requires strategy, emotional intelligence, and resilience.
Instead of reacting impulsively, the key is to manage up and that speaks to finding ways to align with their priorities, redirect negative behaviours, and protect your own growth. Is it easy? No.
Know what you are facing
- Dealing with a difficult leader
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If you are to manage anything, you have to make a diagnosis; know the problem at hand.
Difficult leaders often display traits like poor communication, ego-driven decisions, despotism, harshness or lack of empathy.
Usually their behaviour can erode morale, stifles productivity, suppresses dissenting opinions and creates a toxic environment if not managed wisely.
When you know the elephant in the room, now let’s find strategies to handle them.
Shape the narrative
One way of winning your leader is by getting early with ideas and frame them in ways that connect to the leader’s vision.
In boardrooms, whoever sets the initial tone often influences outcomes.
This also helps you see how they react to your ideas.
Harness ego wisely
Reinforce strengths that support your cause rather than offering hollow flattery.
Leaders respond better when feedback aligns with their self-image.
Build rapport
There is power in building a relationship with them.
As you read, you are saying, how do I build a relationship with such a person?
They have verbally and emotionally abused me?
For you to work effectively, you do not need to agree with them, but finding common ground reduces friction and opens space for collaboration.
Redirect discussions
The other best way to handle them, is to validate their authority and then subtly steer conversations toward constructive outcomes.
I know it’s difficult dealing with such a person, as they don’t even care how you feel, but you must work your way to coming out with positive results.
Master their psychology and find a way around it.
Focus on self-control
Generally, you cannot change their personality, behaviour or character, but you can control your own attitude, professionalism and documentation of achievements.
Have you felt the edge to burst and tell them how you feel?
At times you wish you could get another job and leave, as the common axiom says: “People do not leave jobs, they leave managers.”
Communicate strategically
One always comes at loggerheads with difficult leaders in the way they communicate.
Use clear, factual language.
At times, one needs to over-communicate when necessary to avoid misunderstandings.
Keep the communication professional.
I know it is the one below who might need to put an effort and it is difficult to always try to convince difficult people.
Remember, never try to impress them, do what’s necessary to become your best.
Don’t lie to impress them to be true so that you don’t need to justify yourself in the future.
Never look too desperate to impress or satisfy them, they will further abuse you.
Margie Warrell (2014), speaker, author and a contributor in the Forbes magazine, once wrote “People who bully get their power from those who respond by cowering and showing fear. If your boss is a yeller, a criticiser or a judge, stand firm. If you’re doing the best job you can do, keep your head held high and don’t give him the satisfaction of pushing you about.”
It’s time to act
If your efforts do not work, it is better to escalate carefully and this must be done with allies.
At times you need to unite against the difficult person, so that they realise that they are alone in their toxic behaviour.
Collective resistance signals legitimacy and may force reconsideration.
Parting point
Dealing with a difficult leader is less about resistance and more about navigation. Find wise ways of winning them towards you. Influence them, by shaping narratives, aligning with priorities, and protecting your own integrity, you can thrive even under challenging leadership.
