A home should be where a child feels safe. It is where fear is meant to end, not begin. Yet recent deaths in Zimbabwe and Britain have forced us to confront a disturbing truth: in some homes, the very person entrusted with a child's protection becomes their greatest threat.
In July, a mother and her two daughters, aged 15 and five, were found dead at their home in Great Denham, Bedfordshire. British police identified the children's father and the woman's husband as the suspect. In Harare's Eastview suburb, another family tragedy unfolded after a domestic dispute. The woman survived with serious injuries, but her children died in the fire. While the circumstances of the two cases differ and investigations are ongoing, both expose the collapse of the home as a place of safety.
In the aftermath of such tragedies, it is tempting to conclude that the accused simply "snapped". That explanation makes the violence appear sudden and unpredictable, allowing families, neighbours and institutions to avoid confronting the warning signs that often precede such acts.
Serious domestic violence rarely begins with the final, fatal incident. It often develops through threats, humiliation, isolation, financial manipulation, intimidation and extreme possessiveness. These behaviours may be dismissed as jealousy, anger or ordinary marital conflict. Together, however, they amount to coercive control, gradually stripping one partner of freedom, support and the ability to seek help safely.
Separation, or even the prospect of it, can be one of the most dangerous periods in an abusive relationship. When an abuser views a spouse and children as possessions, a partner's decision to leave may be seen as a challenge to that control. Violence can become a means of punishment, intimidation or regaining power. That is why threats made during domestic disputes should never be dismissed as words spoken in anger.
Zimbabwean communities must also examine the advice they give people experiencing abuse. Women are often told to shingirira (endure) or chengetedza imba (preserve the marriage). Relatives may send a woman back to a dangerous home after a brief family meeting. Some church leaders encourage prayer without linking victims to professional support, while elders may dismiss repeated violence as a private family matter requiring patience.
Prayer and family dialogue have their place, but they cannot replace protection. There is no honour in preserving the appearance of a happy home while those inside live in fear. Marriage is an adult relationship, but a child's right to life, safety and development is non-negotiable.
The Children's Amendment Act, 2023 (No. 8 of 2023), provides a strong legal framework for child protection. It broadens the definition of "a child in need of care or protection or both" to include children whose parents or guardians fail to provide proper care or are unfit to do so. It also extends protection to children who have been abandoned or left without a guardian.
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In the context of domestic violence, a child does not have to be physically assaulted before intervention becomes necessary. Where violence and coercive control make parental care unsafe, the child is no longer merely witnessing an adult dispute; they may already require care and protection.
Section 9A of the amended Act goes further. It requires teachers, health practitioners, legal practitioners, ministers of religion and other professionals who reasonably suspect that a child has been, is being or is likely to be abused to report the matter to the police or a child protection officer as soon as reasonably possible. Silence, therefore, is not merely a social failure; for professionals, it may amount to a breach of a legal duty.
The solution is not to make children responsible for managing violent adults. Rather, it is to equip them with simple, age-appropriate ways to seek help. Every child should know at least one trusted adult outside the immediate household, where to go in an emergency and how to contact a teacher, social worker, police officer or child helpline. They should also be taught never to intervene physically in fights between adults.
Schools are a vital part of the protection system. Guidance and counselling teachers need practical training to recognise signs of domestic violence, respond without judgement and refer cases through appropriate safeguarding channels. A child's disclosure should never become staffroom gossip or trigger a public confrontation with the alleged abuser. Mishandling such disclosures can place both the child and the non-offending caregiver at even greater risk.
The Department of Social Development, Victim Friendly Units, health workers, schools and community child protection structures must work together before violence escalates into tragedy. Reporting systems should be accessible, confidential and responsive. Protection orders and emergency shelters are of little value if victims cannot reach them, lack transport or believe no help will come.
Neighbours and relatives also have responsibilities. Concern means taking threats seriously, checking on children, reporting worrying incidents through lawful channels and helping vulnerable caregivers access trained services. The familiar refrain that "we knew they had problems" should prompt action before tragedy, not regret afterwards.
The language used by the media also matters. Reporting should avoid sensationalism, speculation and images that cause further harm to grieving families. Children must be portrayed as rights-holders, not as devices for dramatic effect in stories about adult violence. Their dignity endures after death, and surviving siblings and classmates may carry the trauma for years.
These cases are not arguments against marriage or family life. They are arguments against silence. They remind us that the best interests of the child must always come before family reputation, social standing or pressure to preserve a relationship at any cost.
A home is not safe simply because its doors are closed. It is safe when violence is recognised early, victims are believed, institutions respond effectively and children are protected. Preserving a family should never mean protecting abuse. It should mean protecting the people inside—especially those least able to protect themselves.
Simbarashe Crispen Kanyimo and Rumbidzai Marevegwa are Associate Senior Researchers with the Africa University Child Rights Research Centre.
