ALTHOUGH it is long overdue, I cannot wait to see how it will pan out.
I, nevertheless, would like to congratulate Zimbabwean authorities for birthing a new Bill lauded as a patriotic law.
Africa needs such creative rulers who can enact laws that will help them to munch freely no matter what.
I have some good reasons to clap my hands for such innovation.
Firstly, who wants to rule people who can holler or mutter about everything?
Who would like to hear every-so-often some unpatriotic “crooks” call for the apprehension of the likes of gold mafioso syndicate?
To do away with such “psychosis”, those in upper echelons of power need to come up with a simple solution of gagging such worrywarts who disrespect and expose Zimbabwe’s good rulers.
Secondly, when the land is in electoral mood, those aiming high to remain in lofty places must make sure that they are on top of the game.
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You call such a raw law a patriotic law that can protect even those who are unpatriotically patriotic as well from saying unsayable stuff.
We call this winning without any fracases. You enact the law that will put off whoever plans to disgrace or dispute you or disclose your dirty linens.
Thirdly, underscoring that most of earthlings are becoming unpatriotic, you patriotically instruct the party and other organs under your control, to myopically come up with something to make everybody patriotic. To do so shrewdly, just define the law and its terms in your own terms.
Look at the bill in question. It clearly and nicely stipulates that: “Any citizen or permanent resident of Zimbabwe (hereinafter in this section called “the accused”) who, within or outside Zimbabwe actively partakes ... in any meeting whose object the accused knows or has reasonable grounds for believing involves ... military or other armed intervention in Zimbabwe ... subverting, upsetting, overthrowing or overturning the constitutional government in Zimbabwe; shall be guilty of wilfully damaging the sovereignty and national interest of Zimbabwe and liable to:-(i) the same penalties as for treason, in a case referred to in paragraph (a); or (ii) the same penalties as for subverting constitutional government.”
What a beautiful piece of law!
Looking at how timorous the Bill is, even haters abroad who met and instigated some evil foreign powers that issued sanctions against the great Zimbabwe will be sternly dealt with soon if not later. The law is clear.
To be safe, all Zimbabweans must keep their mouths shut to avoid being shown why birds do not pee-pee. And this is true patriotism.
Zimbabweans as patriotic people, need to praise and protect the secrets of their rulers. This is where all lies about the gold Cosa nostra come in.
How can foreign media know what is happening in Zimbabwe and come with their lies to lecture Zimbabweans and tarnish the country’s good name?
This is dangerous and totally unpatriotic. Its major aim is to create bad blood between the mighty powers that be and the earthlings.
As I sign off, I must say, Zimbabwe’s patriotic law is so epic and terrific that it must add another legal requirement that all earthlings are duty-bound to defend, love and protect the high and the mighty in the upper echelons of power.
Former Uganda patriotic philosopher, Idi Amin, once said that the duty of the earthlings is to love their rulers without questioning their action good or otherwise, and when their rulers eat, they do so on behalf of the earthlings.
And this is what patriotism’s all about. Join me to disclaim, sorry, to acclaim the patriotic law.
My words and works will live longer, spread wider, speak louder and be more valued than their creator who happens to be me.
They will speak when I won’t have power and time to speak. They will speak even in my absence.
Nkwazi Mhango is a lifetime member of the Writers’ Alliance of Newfoundland and Labrador (WANL), an expert in terrorism and author of over 20 books, among Africa Reunite or Perish, Is It Global War on Terrorism' or Global War over Terra Africana? How Africa Developed Europe and contributed many chapters in scholarly works on many issues of importance on Africa with the specialisation in the deconstruction and decolonisation theories he has been working on for a while now.