SUCCESS LIFE:By Jonah Nyoni
MARRIAGE is filled with many complexities. It is complex because it involves emotions and feelings of people that have promised to love each other. Truth be told, marriage should be for the mature.
One would think it’s a bed of roses. Yes, marriage is a noble institute created by God, but people must be taught about it. I feel the devil uses marriages to pursue his agenda.
Marriage is more than sex and making babies. It’s a whole lot of complex dynamics and matrices that must be well managed.
Communication
This subject must be taught both at school and at home. People must be taught both the power of the spoken and the implied word. Words shape the tone of every marriage.
Emotional intelligence
Soft skills are things considered to be small, but I feel this is where most people miss it. People involved must know themselves; they must be aware of both their positive and negative emotions that might affect the other person.
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Secondly, married people must be in tune and be aware of their partners’ emotions. Pick the emotions of others and learn to manage them effectively.
Sex
Sex is more than a meeting of two organs; it’s a spiritual and emotional journey. Master the journey and talk about it with your partner.
As a woman, understand the sexual needs of your man. To a man, sex is a need. This need is not replaceable, what they want is to make love.
Man also must know the make-up of a woman. Let her breathe and rest. Be gentle with her. Know how to effectively love and touch your woman.
She is not your sex toy. Be gentle, and take quality time to communicate with her.
Some men are rapping their wives every day. What they do is penetrate, even though she is not ready.
Continuous learning
Learning agility is what makes you keep informed, relevant and wise. Learn from quality books, videos, and seminars.
Seek the services of a counsellor before things become bad.
Most people will seek a counsellor or coach when things have turned sour.
External voices
People always have an opinion. They are willing to give advice but you should know that not every piece of advice is meant to be implemented.
Learn to analyse and synthesise what you have been told.
Remember, even the very people that have failed in their marriage will always try to give a piece of their mind. Listen and have your final personal decision.
You are not always right
Do you know that in every fight, it always feels you are right? But remember you are not always right.
Don’t debate or fight to win, let the other person win as well. Don’t debate to win an argument, but debate to build your marriage.
Invite God
God is all-knowing. He knows what’s best for our marriage. He is the ultimate giver of all wisdom. Take time to pray together, for each other, and for wisdom. Learn to consult God when handling a complex marital issue.
God is love, and He will guide and guard our marriages. When God is in your marriages, you avoid revenge and cheating.
