SUCCESS LIFE:Jonah Nyoni & Lucia Gunguwo
EMOTIONAL intelligence is the ability to identify our feelings and other people’s feelings and be able to act or react accordingly.
Marriage requires a higher level of emotional intelligence as there are feelings, emotions and reactions that should be managed.
Failure to do that leads to fights, and disputes which could lead to divorce. As you get into marriage, the first and the most up important person is you. You need to be aware of your emotional make-up and how you can best manage it.
We are wired or designed differently, and endowed with different personality traits. For example, if you are aware the you are hot-tempered, you know how to manage yourself when dealing with your spouse or partner. The inability to manage your temper might flare fires.
You must be aware of your partner’s feelings, emotional wiring and mental paradigms. Do not behave or react as though their feelings do not exist. How do they behave when they are happy? This helps you maintain the happiness-momentum. How do they behave when angry? That makes you react or address the matter in a mature way. Invest in knowing your partner’s emotional make-up.
Sensitivity to your partner
Being sensitive to your partner is very important. There are good small things that they do, and those should be appreciated. Don’t crucify them for all bleeps and blunders, it’s part of the human nature. Find means to help them manage and get out of the problems.
Learn to communicate calmly with your spouse. Emotions come by, but manage them and grow and be able to communicate rotationally. I know it becomes easy to use emotions when one is angry because feelings will be at work, but take a second to ponder before you spew those words. It’s is said words inflict the biggest wounds than being physically hurt. Don’t say what you would regret when you go back to your normal state.
One worst thing a partner could do is to publicly scold you. Find better means to address problems when there is only the two of you. Maturity asks for forgiveness and amicable ways for conflict resolution.
Emotional management during Covid-19
We are in a disaster caused by COVID-19, and we need to support each other.
There is what we called collective stress, which the nation is suffering from now.
We have had previous disasters which affected the nation directly or indirectly.
In such times, we suffer the loss of lives, injury, health issues and lost homes. That brings social and economic disruption. What does that mean to the nation, to the communities, households and individuals?
That brings about psychological trauma and the greatest need for psychosocial support. The current situation might increase gender-based violence and suicide.
Yes, this is a disaster, but it’s a phase that will pass. Support systems become very critical. Talk to someone during such a time. Share your thoughts no matter how small you think it is.
In marriage, we must learn to love one another. Use positive words of encouragement. Small things such as simple hugs and sex can do the magic. The man as the provider, his ego is damaged because of not being able to support his family as usual or effectively. Manhood is challenged.
It’s not about material things, but we need to live within our means. This is a disaster that we have to intelligently manage both as husband and wife. He needs his wife and you will help him hold his head high as a man. She needs her husband to give her a pat on the shoulder.
It will take a wise woman to love him, encourage him and still submit if not more than when everything was fine. It will also take a strong husband to encourage her and hold her hand in a storm.