BY DOCTOR STOP IT
My People,I am sure most of you are relieved that we have come to the end of the most confused and confusing funeral of all time.
Many must have watched in awe as the Lacoste faction, which toppled Robert Mugabe through a military coup feigned some love for the man who single-handedly liberated Zimbabwe.
The man whose path to Mozambique to liberate Zimbabwe was cleared by the white minority Rhodesia settler government following the murder of Hebert Chitepo and incarceration of Ndabaningi Sithole.
The above coincidence has made many come to the conclusion that Mugabe was planted among freedom fighters by the British and Americans, but that is a discussion for another day.
We will also not dwell on trivial issues on how he was linked to a supremacist political organisation called Frolizi after people like Nathan Shamuyarira had failed in their bid to topple Zanu chairman Herbert Chitepo.
That is a conversation for another day.
For now, let us marvel at how he has continued to wrongfoot those desperate Lacoste factionalists, even in death.
When Mugabe’s body arrived from Singapore, the Lacoste factional government was embarrassed after being told that the body would not be carried on a gun carriage and would not even spend a night at the military parlour.
That made a lot of sense.
How could an institution that had toppled Mugabe from power avail its facilities to him in death?
Did they mean well? Of course, not.
That is why the family quickly unleashed rumours to the effect that Gushungo had left strict orders to the effect that his body should not be left unattended as he feared those cavemen and women in the faction would use his body parts for rituals.
So, despite offers for the gun carriage, the body was carried around in a car belonging to a private parlour.
The factionalist government did not realise that Mugabe and family were rejecting anything and everything associated with the factional government — except for when it suited them.
The master stroke by the Mugabe family, a.k.a G40, was to demand the construction of a mausoleum where the remains would be interred.
Meanwhile, all along, they knew of the United Nations General Assembly in New York, United States.
In the meantime, Julius Malema, the latest recruit to the G40 faction, was despatched on a well-choreographed mission to muddy the waters, which he did successfully.
He told the factionalist government to allow Gushungo to be buried in his rural Zvimba village and before anybody could blink, the family was evacuating Mugabe’s body to Zvimba.
Of course, you can’t help but feel sorry for poor Malema, who is busy eulogising someone who caused death and destruction to a promising country called Zimbabwe.
Many are warning our own Nero that he should be careful of recruiting himself into G40. Or is he already a member of the G40 since he has always claimed that Mugabe supported him?
So, with Lacoste Ngwena in faraway USA where he was addressing chairs in empty auditoriums at the General Assembly, Mugabe’s wish that he should not attend his burial could now be easily implemented.
And the family moved with speed to bury the corpse.
This means the genuine heroes have refused or failed to be buried by Lacoste, which is a huge indictment on his style of leadership.
The genuine national heroes that Lacoste has failed to bury include Phinias Makhurane, Dumiso Dabengwa, Oliver Mtukudzi and Mugabe.
Meanwhile, from his coffin, Gushungo threw one final punch. He left the Lacoste government with egg drooling on its face after making them construct a mausoleum which is expected to cost more than US$1 million.
Questions and controversy will now emerge on what the mausoleum will be used for.
Of course, it has also been suggested that the Lacoste faction was also alive to the mind games that their G40 rivals were up to and they gave as much as they got.
It has since emerged that the Lacoste factional government was building a “multi-purpose” mausoleum, which would have been the final resting place for all presidents.
That would have meant that mortal enemies Mugabe and Mnangagwa would have been buried in the same place.
That was unacceptable to the G40.
So Zvimba it would be. After all, they had milked all they could from the death of their leader Gushungo, the revolutionary and guerilla leader who could not or was afraid to fire a gun.
Mnangagwa and Mutodi
Many have wondered if some of the outlandish things that Information deputy minister Energy Mutodi says represent the official government position.
Of course, they are official government and Mnangagwa positions.
Otherwise he would have done something about it by now.
Mutodi has labelled Ndebele people as foreigners and maybe that explains why Lacoste is linked to the murder of close to
20 000 Ndebele people.
Mutodi has implied that a South African university is better than the local Midlands State University.
Maybe that is the government position. Which ministers attend local hospitals or send their children to local universities?
Happy 20th anniversary MDC
Happy anniversary to the MDC which is led by Nelson Chamisa and others in the coalition.
We hope the celebrations went well at Rufaro.
Were those empty bays you were addressing at the stadium?
Be careful of Gushungo’s kiss of death joining Zanu PF factional politics.
Gushungo Chete Chete!
Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (Fake)
l Feedback: Doctorstopit@gmail.com