MOTIVATION Ashley Thaba
TilL death do us part. Many have said the words; few have followed through.
Why do people stray? Why do people fail to keep their sacred wedding vows made before God and witnesses? Is it possible to stay faithful to one person for life or it’s an overrated fairy tale? Most around me seem to feel it is an impossible endeavour.
Much energy and money is spent in dealing with the negative consequences of these extra-marital affairs, which have sadly become the norm more than the exception. Today, I would like to encourage an alternative solution to the breakdown of our family unit.
What if we spent more energy on educating people how to have marriages they didn’t have to run away from?
I believe marriage is a beautiful thing that can serve as a foundation to stable families and happier people when done within the boundaries God created it to have.
Ironically, boundary is a word that usually people associate with a lack of freedom and stifling of fun. However, as I have lived my 41 short years, I have made an observation.
I was not the first. This truth was given to us through God in the Bible thousands of years ago. Proverbs 16:25 states: “There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death.”
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Your colleague at work makes your heart flutter. Your spouse no longer has that effect on you. It seems you should be happy, so why not cheat and satisfy your burning desires? Suddenly, on the other side of the affair, when you find yourself in the dark shadow of shame, guilt, and inner frustration, it doesn’t look so attractive.
I would like to propose a solution that has been working for my husband and me for over 15 years. Choose to protect your marriage so that you give yourself the gift of true and pure happiness.
My goal in sharing these thoughts is to encourage couples to put the extra effort in and to hopefully foster the beginning of many more conversations we can have on working towards stronger families. Below are a few things we have seen effective over the years.
I choose my husband! It is a choice that starts in the mind. If thoughts of another man creep into my secret daydreams, I stop and choose to be thankful for my man and force my mind to think of all the wonderful qualities he has. Grass is never as green as it seems on the other side. Life’s secret is to be content where you are planted!
Because I make an effort to daily train my thoughts to focus on his positive attributes, it becomes very easy to verbally praise him. I have made it a life mission to be his biggest fan. I want him to visualise himself the way I see him, so I find creative ways of daily encouraging him to be the man I am choosing to believe he is.
Since I am his biggest fan, I will never criticise him with others. Never! You will never hear me say a negative word about my husband. If I have a problem with him, I will talk to him only about that problem! It has never solved anything for me to talk to anyone else about an issue I have with him. In fact, if you have ever had a prolonged conversation with me, you probably know I still gush about my husband like a schoolgirl going on about her first crush! Daily, he amazes me!
We prioritise spending time together. This takes sacrifice and intricate planning on both our parts. With three children and running multiple companies, sometimes at the end of the day, it takes immense energy to rehash the day with each other.
It is easier for him to watch sports or me to mindlessly scroll through Facebook than to put forth the effort. But we do, every single day. We have observed other couples slowly drifting apart; it doesn’t happen overnight. Slowly, they just lead two different lives.
They share a roof, but do not share the same interests, the same friends, or even the same life goals.
