HomeOpinion & AnalysisAppreciate people when you still have the time

Appreciate people when you still have the time


A couple that was in theirseventies entered their lawyer’s office. Apparently they wanted to file for a divorce. What a surprise. A really disturbing catastrophic scenario. At that age, what really had affected their seemingly blissful union? How could such a thing happen?


They had stayed together for more than forty years. Their stay together was not a cherished experience. It wasn’t easy. Their marriage had been established on crumbling rocks.

A withering relationship that knew no “love” in between. It wasn’t a real love-glued matrimony.

They had been together for the sake of their children. However, now their children had grown up and they wanted to lead their own lives. So that’s why they had come to this advocate to finalise their worrisome matter.

The lawyer listened to the matter. They narrated the disturbing issue which wasn’t palatable to the ears at all.

The lawyer had a difficult time to solve this issue. He couldn’t understand why it was happening after such a long time of union.

As they were sitting together the wife said, “I really love you, but I can’t carry on anymore. I am sorry.”

“It’s okay,” the husband replied

The frightening silence

On hearing this, the lawyer suggested to have a dinner with them. The wife agreed. At the dinner, there was a frightening silence as no one was willing to speak at all. No one talked to the other.

After some time the first dish was served. It was a roasted chicken.

The old man took the drumstick and handed it over to his wife. How could that be for a couple that was few inches from the divorce line?

He said: “Take this, it’s your favourite.”

Their lawyer was listening. On hearing this, the lawyer thought there was still a chance for this relationship to be ignited by sparkles of romantic rejuvenation.

The wife received the drumstick, but she never showed a delighted facial expression. She wasn’t happy at all.

Actually she began to frown more. She wasn’t happy with this gesture.

“This is your problem! You always think so highly of yourself and think low of me,” complained the suspecting wife.
“Don’t you know that I hate drumsticks?” she querried.

She just didn’t know how much she was loved

With her complaint, the woman did not know that all those years the husband had been trying to please her. Little did she know that the drumsticks were his favourite, but he had to sacrifice them for her. Little did she know that she never thought he understood her at all? And little did he also know that she hated drumsticks. What a puzzle that needed to be solved.

They then went on separate routes after that. However, both of them did not sleep that night. They were totally stressed.

So the husband picked up the phone to call his sweet heart. The phone went ringing with no-one picking up.

“What’s the point of talking now that it’s over? I have asked for that and now it’s over. I want to keep it that way.

If not, I will lose face,” the disgruntled woman thought to herself.

On hearing that the phone kept ringing, she pulled out the phone cord so that he couldn’t reach her.

She had forgotten that her husband had a heart problem. Due to induced stress of a phone being not picked, the husband then collapsed and died. And that was the end of everything.

He is no more

Next day she received the news that her husband had died. She became worried and pained indeed. She rushed to his apartment and saw the body lying on the couch still holding on to the phone. It dawned on her now what the real cause of her husband’s death was.

They made the arrangements to take the body out. While she was assisting, she realised that there was a policy in one of the drawers which was dated the day they got married and an attached note. It had some touching romantic verbatim.

The sweet letter

It read:“To my dearest; by the time you are reading this, I am sure I am no longer around. I bought this policy for you though the amount is only hundred thousand dollars I hope it will be able to help you continue with the promise I made when we got married. I might not be around anymore, but I want this amount of money to continue taking care of you just like the way I would if we had lived longer. I want you to know that I will always be around by your side. I love you,” ended the letter.

On hearing this, tears started flowing like a river. It was a really painful experience. She started blaming herself. But nothing could be done. Nothing could be changed. For it couldn’t help to cry over spilt milk. It was over.
The university of life

Sometimes the university of life teaches us life lessons which aren’t contained in general modules. Sometimes we need to withhold our judgement rod lest we may regret because of our handicapped decisions we made due to limited life knowledge.

Don’t forget that you are there for people.

So don’t forget that when you love someone, tell them, for you never know what happens the next minute. It can be done. Be blessed.

Steve Nyambe is a motivational speaker and leadership coach. He can be contacted on +263 784 583 761 or email: leadershiptouch@gmail.com

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