THOSE who read the Bible will agree with me that there are more instructions to husbands than to wives. It is not a mistake.
By Kilton Moyo
It is the right thing mainly because men are the pillars upon which marriage stands or falls.
All we have to do is to reflect always on the commands of God concerning marriage and even our lives in general.
One of the instructions is in Proverbs. In fact, from verse 15 to 20, you can teach yourself a lot about the value of marital fidelity.
One instruction given there is to rejoice with the wife of your youth. This is obviously given to a husband.
You see, the intentions of every husband is to rejoice with his wife.
To do this, one has to be intentional about it.
I have heard many people complain that there is no longer joy in their marriages and homes and they either want away or are engaged with strangers just for joy.
We live in a world that teaches couples many things that rob them of the fundamentals of building excellent marriages.
I am always and will be of the opinion that the Word of God is everything we need to build on. The instruction is clear, rejoice with the wife of your youth. You are the one making it and doing it.
It is your role and your duty as a husband to make sure you are rejoicing with her and not with things and other people.
These days, we see a lot of spouses rejoicing on their phones more than with their wives. They rejoice with their mothers or relatives more than with their wives. They rejoice with their cars or pets more than with their wives.
They rejoice with their careers, workmates and friends more than their wives. Others rejoice with their soccer teams or hobbies more than with their wives.
There is so much that the current generation of husbands is preoccupied with at the expense of their wives and families.
Beloved, whether we like it or not, this kind of thinking is detrimental to building sweet marriages.
No matter how much we can justify this kind of thinking, it is wrong and it is anti-love, marriage and it is not of God.
I would rather have you take your spouse with you in all this.
Prioritise her above all these things.
Your number one priority is God and then your wife and children.
You see, there are many other things that steal this rejoicing in our marriages.
Let me just give you a few titbits. I call these little foxes that spoil our love vines.
Hardness of heart
Many of us have hard hearts towards our wives. This hardness is a product of culture, religion or our associates.
What are your close friends saying about their wives? If their views are such that they rubbish womanhood, you will develop a seriously dangerous attitude towards your wife.
The same with your religion and culture. I have always said this that human culture never created marriage. Only God did. Human culture does not understand marriage, but God does.
The same with religion, it does not understand marriage. Their views on marriage are anti-love and romance.
Many of us, men, have learnt so much stubbornness, stinginess and disrespect of women from our cultures and religions. If you disrespect and rubbish womanhood, how on earth do you expect to love your wife? It does not work.
It all starts with your attitude towards woman.
Rejoicing with your wife depends largely on your willingness to honour marital fidelity. Many of us struggle with being faithful. Cheating is not just sexual like many think. Faithfulness in marriage is a capsule of many things.
These include sexual intimacy, money, friendships, etc.
Many of us are unfaithful in these areas. We cheat our spouses financially. We cheat them when we have many secrets, friends.
This is cheating them emotionally.
We cheat them when we deny them to be who they are supposed to be.
We cheat them when we are not helping them to develop themselves.
We are being unfaithful to the ethos of love when we do not do to them what love is supposed to be doing.
When we violate this kind of marital fidelity, joy is shut down and we are in trouble.
You see, there is a lot I could write about on this subject, but I feel you can take home these two and discuss with your spouse.
Stay loving and growing into each other and your joy will be made complete.
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