As a nation we are in the season and mode of rebuilding. I hear a lot of talk on rebuilding our economy, politics, business, and even our character and culture of doing things and this is exciting, if only it will work.
By KILTON MOYO
I am not sure, how many of us understand the value and role of the family in the rebuilding exercise.
Any rebuilding of a society or nation starts with the rebuilding of the family, which is the basis of all we intend to do and become.
When the family is not in the picture nothing stands and when the family is strengthening and stabilising, then we are strong together as a community.
My take is that while we are all over rebuilding, let us begin at home. They say that charity begins at home. Even biblically, leadership starts at home.
Wherever you are and whoever you are take time before you venture out, and consider your family. Put order and bring God back to it and have a sound base to launch out into the market place.
Your biggest support base is your family. For this reason, in the coming weeks, beginning today, I want to show you about four foundational qualities of stable families.
I am sure in my heart, that if you were to create this in your family, you will see progress you never thought of. Beloved, the family must work so society can be free and work accordingly.
I have said it before that all the evil you see on our streets and in our communities is an indication to the weakness in the family system. Get this system working and everything follows suit. Let us look at one quality that you need in the family.
This may sounds strange to you. We are used to the hospitality industry where we are making money in hotels and the like.
Maybe, very few of us have ever thought of hospitality in the family. For our sake here, we will define hospitality as the willingness to continually offer each other a place at the family table.
Do all your family members have the same space at the family table? I know and have seen families, where the family table has degenerated into chaos and some family members have been banished. They feel like outsiders.
Maybe, let me ask you a question and please attempt to answer it from your own perspective. How do you handle your family black sheep? That member of the family who has rejected your family shared faith. That member of the family who has a contradicting lifestyle.
Have you not seen families destroyed by their responses to such scenarios? Many have their peace stolen and doors are simply shut to such.
To me this is the issue of misunderstanding of hospitality in the family. Accepting one another despite our differences. If acceptance is not practised and taught in the family it will be hard to practice in the community.
Maybe, this explains our politics of antagonism and violence because, where there is no acceptance there is rejection and violence.
Where hospitality is not understood, there is resentment. Many family members are resented by their own and many have gone full-time into crime because of this resentment.
If we were to do a little survey, you will discover that a huge percentage of the thugs around us, even the thugs in suits, are suffering from this resentment experience and are struggling to come out of it.
When they resent you, they label you and that stigma forms an attitude. Let me just leave you with these thoughts.
•Beloved, a family is a place of acceptance. It is a place of hospitality. Every member, despite their shortcomings are accepted.
•Show your family hospitality, so they can change. Nothing changes people more than loving or accepting them as they are. There is unexplained power in this acceptance.
•Make room at the family table for the prodigal sons. They belong there and God will work them out while at the table of hospitality.
If you want God to give you a miracle with that family member, love them. You will see how soon God transforms them.
It is easy to pray for them while at the table than when they are away. When your heart has love for them and not resentment, it is easy for you to pray for them.
I just want us to understand that hospitality is an essential virtue in a family.
Accept, welcome and honour each other in the family. Encourage and inspire each other knowing very well that you are family but different.
Practice grace, forgive each other and make room for mistakes and failure, knowing that this is how humanity matures.
Family is a place of learning and we learn through mistakes.
As you rebuild, consider some of these. Maybe, your rebuilding starts with bringing back that child or relative you have kicked out of the family table.
Whatever it takes, this season let us make our families stable and strong and working well and we will all enjoy the season’s favour from God. Remember it is always, “you and your family” like Joshua in the Bible.
Kilton Moyo is creator of Fruitful Marriages, a renewal and enrichment programme and is pastor, counsellor and author of Marriage Fitness. Call or whatsap on +263 775 337 207, +263 772 610 103 firstname.lastname@example.org.