We are at the end of the year now and many people are excited about many things that happened around them or the things that they did. Many are planning for the coming new year now and looking ahead with anticipation, hope and faith. All this is good. I always wonder how many of us in all these reflections and planning do take time to reflect on their marriages and love life.
By Kilton Moyo
I just hope this time around you will elevate your marriage to priority number one, that is if you understand what marriage is and how important your own marriage is to you, your children and us all and to the glory of God.
Talking about taking stock, it humbles my heart to realise that once again I have spent the whole year writing and ministering to you through this column. I am amazed at the goodness of the Lord and at the consistency of our focus on marriage, family and sexuality.
I pray that someone out there got helped, otherwise we will be writing in vain. Thank you for your feedback throughout the year and thank you for the new friendships built this year around.
To God be the glory and may you all be blessed as you read. I pray we will still be able to write to you in the coming year. But my question is, what have you done with the over 300 articles this column has given you in the past years? I hope you have not just been reading, but you have been doing somethings we have suggested to you. If you did not, it is never too late to start.
As we head for Christmas, I felt I should encourage somebody out there who is being deceived into believing a lie that their spouse is not up to scratch. Once you are married to that person, your duty is to believe in them. You married out of love and beloved love believes all things. If you love you believe. Your spouse is exactly what you needed and you still need and shall need. He or she is the best among all spouses. Let me give you a few tips again.
If you want to enjoy your marriage, enjoy your spouse. Marriage is made attractive and exciting by two loving people, who believe in each other and enjoy each other.
If you want to enjoy your marriage, recognise your spouse’s potential and ability. You did not marry a useless being. No human being is useless after all. You married them because you saw potential and never lose sight on that. The challenge comes when you married a beautiful face or figure without considering how you needed them to help your journey of life. But now that you are married, see the potential.
If you want to enjoy your marriage, give value to your spouse. Your spouse is the most valuable person on earth. Your spouse is your VIP all the time. Never rubbish your spouse and expect to enjoy life with them. Infact, that is foolishness.
If you want to enjoy your marriage, be fully persuaded that you have married the best and that you are the best. The Bible teaches us that whoever finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord. Do you believe this? Be fully persuaded that you have found a good thing. Be fully persuaded that your wife is what God has said about a wife. She is a good thing.
If you believe it you see it and possess it. According to God, your wife is a good thing. Do not be moved from this reality by what your people, culture and humanism say about women in general. You know that the world is so negative about women. Do not operate at that fallen level.
Believe God’s words. Your wife is a good thing. Think of her as a good woman. See her as a good, valuable woman.
She is better than riches. Unless you are fully persuaded in line with the mind of God, you will not enjoy marriage.
If you want to enjoy your marriage, learn it from God. Only God knows what marriage is all about because He created it. If you learn it from Him you will understand it better and do it the way He intended.
The challenge is we are learning from wrong sources and we mess up ourselves. God has a blueprint for marriage.
Many of us including Christians are too lazy to learn from God. We love the therapies of the world, which sound learned and cool, yet they are far away from the heart of God on His things.
If you want to enjoy your marriage, feed love and not conflict or the enemy. It is shocking to find that many people want love in their marriages but day in, and day out they feed the enemies of love and starve love. How on earth to you expect love when you are killing it every day just like that.
Whatever is predominant in your marriage is precisely what you are feeding and energising. Your marriage works by love, unconditional love for each other. Grow that love. Feed that love. Make clear the way of such love. Many of us do not know how to love each other in marriage. I pray that the Holy Spirit will teach us as couples how to love.
Never give the devil an inch in your marriage. His mission is to steal, kill and destroy. So if you open a slight door and he comes in, he will steal your trust, charm, fellowship, and love and then kill your passion for each other. Once he sets you apart and against each other he has destroyed your marriage. Do not give him that inch.
I have a lot to write to you about, but I can only write this far in this column. Enjoy the end of the year. Love each other. Value each other. Choose to build and not destroy. Choose your spouse again and again. Marriage is beautiful. You make yours work.
God bless you all. Merry Christmas and have an intentional and happy new year.
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