It is my belief that God had intended for parenting to be a beautiful experience and satisfying life engagement for humanity. By Kilton Moyo
However, these days, it seems like parenting, to many, has become a serious frustration.
I always wonder why there has been a sudden turn of things?
Why the sudden loss of interest in this wonder?
I am not sure if I have answers to these questions, but I would like to think that many in this generation become parents by accident.
They never plan for it and they never take time to understand what it is all about.
One thing about this generation that baffles me is its level of ignorance about God.
Mankind’s enemy strives on our ignorance.
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We are so diligent and so sound on worldly philosophies and heresies, but so pathetic on things that matter the most in this life.
Parenting is a crucial human occupation that cannot be learnt from the world, but from the Creator.
Don’t you think God has a way He wants us to do parenting?
The things that humanity did not create should be done in the way of the one who created them.
Why is it so hard to go back to God and ask Him to teach us to parent than messing up our children the way we are doing?
There is so much violence in parenting these days.
Think of the parent who sells his 10-year-old child to a confused man and calls that marriage.
Think of the parent who drinks all their money and neglects his offspring.
Think of the parent, who beats their child to death.
Think of the parent who will divorce his or her spouse, condemning their children to perpetual pain and shame.
Think of the parent, who rapes his own child.
You can think of so many such scenarios and you will agree with me that this generation needs to rethink things.
Some parents, as I have said are tired.
They are physically present, but emotionally absent.
They are there, but never connect with their children.
Maids have filled the vacuum left by parents.
It is maids who bathe, clothe and feed the child.
It is maids who take the child to sleep.
It is maids who sing to the child or even pray over the child.
For others, parenting is left to television sets, as children are left with cartoons and games.
Others think showering children with money and gifts is the equivalent of good parenting.
Beloved, money is the worst parent: It does not know how to be a parent.
It will destroy your children, just as gifts will.
As a parent, you need to play your role and never be too busy.
The world we live in needs love, kindness and tenderness.
These can only be role-modelled by parents.
This means we need parents that can raise their children with tenderness, which is not the same as spoiling.
Tenderness is about love and firmness not bullying or violence.
It is about kindness, teaching, coaching and guidance.
Parenting requires a few things.
Patience
Many of us have no patience, we want our children to be adults before they grow up.
This is impossible.
Let your child enjoy childhood, being a teenager and youth.
Do not rob them of these beautiful stages of life, be patient with them.
Cover their mistakes with great love.
Patience is the fruit of the Holy Spirit.
Your presence
The greatest investment you can do for your child is being present or there for them.
They need you more than your money or gifts.
Parenting cannot be done remotely, it is done directly and you must be there.
Invest love, joy, peace and stability.
We have so many young people, who are insecure and unstable because they never enjoyed the comfort of parental love.
Your presence is key.
The greatest parent ever, God, says to His own, I will be with you always.
This is the mark of a great parent.
Know your children
Many of us are raising strangers to us.
We do not know our children.
We see them grow, but we do not know them.
We only know them by what their teachers say.
We only know them by what a funny prophet somewhere has said.
We only know them by what some relative has said, but we never take time as parents to know them from the point of view of God, who created them and gave us them as a gift.
Praying
Beloved, whether you believe it or not, prayer is the biggest weapon every parent has.
Prayer does not lose its power and purpose just because you have not used it.
Your prayer, as a parent, goes beyond your physical presence and touch.
It goes to the heart and mind and it fights battles you will never know nor understand.
A praying parent is a winning parent.
I am talking about you, praying as a parent.
I am not talking about you calling your prophet or pastor to pray.
Your prayer avails much.
Your prayer, as a parent, works much more than that of others.
Do not allow your prophet or whoever to disempower you and take away your responsibility towards your children.
Pray for your child.
Use the word of God
The word of God is medicine unto all the flesh, there is nothing it cannot heal.
Every parent should be in a position to apply this medicine.
It heals wrong motives, desires, feelings and thoughts.
It heals all the flesh.
God is the greatest builder of families and He does it through his word.
Let me help you further here.
These days, there are so many therapies out there crafted by clever people.
They sound cool and exciting.
Most of these are not based on the word of God or inspired by the Spirit of God.
They will never give you what you want.
They give you what they are.
But the word of God is an overcomer and builder and maker.
It brings understanding, light, life and clarity.
Try it and you will not regret.
Show love to your child by showing them the ways of God.
I view it as cruelty to children when, as parents, we do not lead them to Christ: The way, the truth and the life.
“Let all children come to me and do not hinder them for to such is the kingdom of God.”
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