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NewsDay

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Killing your darlings

In writing practice, killing your darlings refers to editing out certain parts of a manuscript in order to present the best version of the story. In this process, writers typically eliminate weak characters, pointless metaphors and romances, unnecessary scenes and sometimes even entire prologues.

In writing practice, killing your darlings refers to editing out certain parts of a manuscript in order to present the best version of the story. In this process, writers typically eliminate weak characters, pointless metaphors and romances, unnecessary scenes and sometimes even entire prologues.

Opinion: Thembe Khumalo

Thembe Khumalo
Thembe Khumalo

I many not know you personally, and you may not be a writer, but I would hazard a guess that there are some darlings in your life that could do with killing off. They don’t need to be words, or even people; sometimes our darlings are ideas that are outdated, emotions that got stuck, physical clutter in our homes, or mental barriers. Our darlings might even be digital platforms, with names… like WhatsApp, or Facebook perhaps?

Killing one’s darlings is not a pleasant process for any writer; it sometimes means deleting thousands of words, and laying to waste many hours worth of painstaking prose. It is painful, but if you want a quality product in the end, it is necessary.

The actual killing may be done cold turkey, much like the process of suddenly depriving your body of a substance it has become addicted to, or it can be done by slow withdrawal method, where you ease away what is excess over a number of weeks or even months, until you are left with only what is good and pure. Either way, it hurts.

My question for you today is: what are the tough choices that you need to make in order for you to deliver the best version of your life?

Many years ago, when I was mentoring young people I would tell them that they only needed to master two skills in life: The ability to manage relationships well, and the capacity to makes sound decisions. I would tell them that both these skills could be learnt with practice and that they would form the foundation for a successful life. While I no longer dispense this advice with the abandon of yesteryear, I have not stopped believing it.

Interestingly, the Latin root of the word decision means “to cut off”; in other words, to eliminate choices. It is the same root from which words like incision (to cut in), and precision (to cut before). They all involve the act of cutting or removing; not so very different from the concept of killing if you think about it.

When my children were young I took a course in parenting called “Growing Kids God’s Way”, where I learnt that we do our kids no favours by providing them with too many choices. For instance, a child should never be asked whether he or she wants to breakfast on cornflakes, coco-pops, rice crispies or wheet-bix. We should instead inform them what they will be eating and not leave room for negotiation. It has been interesting to learn that parents ask toddlers to make choices partly because it is easier than doing battle with a toddler’s iron will, but also partly because the parents themselves are afraid of making the “wrong” decision. Adults are afraid of making a mistake — even one as benign as giving your child a cereal he doesn’t like!

In life, in business, in relationships, the act of deciding what to retain and what to eliminate is one of the most difficult — and the thing which makes it especially hard is the fear of making a mistake. But we cannot go through life without making any mistakes, so one might as well get on with it!

The word “darlings” evokes a sense of affection and endearment, and doesn’t seem a good fit with ideas of homicide or murderous intent. And this is the paradox of sound decision-making: It is not because you do not love the items you must eliminate that you get rid of them. But rather because you love yourself, your life, your business or whatever the final product is, that you must place them first, and only retain what serves the greater purpose.

For creative types like myself, running a business effectively can be a real challenge; not because of a shortage of ideas, but because the ideas come thick and fast, and if one does not develop the discipline of ruthlessly editing away that which is not core, one can find oneself in an ideas wilderness. Creative ideas don’t stop flowing, but someone has to take on the responsibility of controlling the flow so that you don’t end up with a flood!

Finally, a personal observation about dinner parties: Have you noticed that when black people invite you to dinner in their homes, they serve piles and piles of food. The options go on from here to Mbare musika, and you tend to wonder whether they have left anything in the pantry for tomorrow. In stark contrast, when white people invite you over, there is a sense of some frugality about the dinner table. There will be one starch, one meat, and one vegetable (or salad). Unless it is a very special occasion, they seldom splash out on food.

I have made an amusing game out of wondering why this is so: Could it be that our white neighbours are just not endowed with the same generosity of spirit as we are; or is it that we like to take conspicuous consumption to greater heights — after all, people might think we are poor if we don’t splash out. Is it that white people have mastered the simple science of eliminating choices, or do they just lack imagination? Is this situation peculiar to Zimbabwean whites and blacks or is this a universal disparity?

I honestly don’t know. What I do know is that I hate killing my darlings as much as the next person, but I know that the courage and discipline is takes will serve me well in other aspects of my life.

Thembe Khumalo is a brand-builder, storyteller and social entrepreneur. Find out more on www.thembekhumalo.com or follow her social media accounts @thembekhumalo