Today, let me attempt to inspire fathers in our generation, so we can reduce the level of brokenness in our nations.
Relationships: Kilton Moyo
Depending on where you stand, I am not sure whether you realise how the lack of serious fatherhood has harmed humanity and this generation in particular.
We have so many fathers out there, but very few are doing the duties and responsibilities of fatherhood.
Most of us seem like we are not sure about what to do and we have moved into a condemnation mode and, as a result, our offspring is so discouraged and so confused, they are not sure which one is their left and which one is their right.
The Bible, in Colossians 3:21, gives a very direct command to fathers. It reads: “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”
Now this is a huge challenge and task for every father who wants to be a real father.
I am not very sure how many of us, even in the Church, are up to standard as concerning this directive.
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I just want to share with you a few thoughts, and maybe we can help each other.
There is so much brokenness in the world today and so much anger and discouragement among young people.
Many commit suicide. Others are gone into drug abuse and sex abuse. Many cannot dream or see any hope of the future.
Desperation is so high — our children are drowning into it. Fathers cannot provide answers and hope.
Many fathers don’t know what to do to link or connect with their children. Some just give them money. Others condemn outrightly. Others do all sorts of fun excuses.
And, off course, there are many others who try the best they can and are winning by faith. Congratulations. Herewith are three things as a start-up pack for us fathers out there.
How do we keep our children encouraged and connected in times such as these?
Love their mother
One of the biggest confidence boosters to children of all races is the father loving their mother.
Wise fathers, who struggle with the question asked above, know that loving the mother of the children is medicine enough to the emotional needs of children.
Children, who know that their parents love each other, are very secure and stable in all they do. If you are a father and you want to kill your children, abuse their mother.
Many of us fathers are involved in this form of murder somehow unknowingly.
Loving the mother of your children builds confidence in them. Many children all over the world live in fear of their parents divorcing.
Now, who can blossom in fear? Abusing their mother, for whatever reason discourages and makes them bitter against you.
When they are bitter against you, they speak and think things they ought not and this works as a curse to them. What a shame that fatherhood today curses its offspring?
Be a today’s father
How many times you have heard parents, fathers in particular complain about children of today.
In my language, they say: “Abantwana balamuhla or Vana Vanhasi”. This implies that today’s children are arrogant and undisciplined.
I ask myself this one question. In all this, where is today’s father? When shall we have today’s father?
Many of us are complaining about today’s children and failing to parent them because we are condemning them and wishing they were like us, the yesterday generation.
We forget that they are living today and they expect to be fathered today. We forget that we are fathers today and not yesterday. I think fathers need to just come up and show up and be fathers.
This generation needs fathers today. We need fathers and not condemners. It is no longer yesterday. It is today. We want today’s fathers, who keep up with the pace and take part in bringing up today’s children.
We cannot sit on the fence and point a figure. Let us be fathers. Get the knowledge. Get the skill. Get the passion and be a father.
Yesterday is gone and remains only a hallucination to people who refuse the realities of the current.
I have said it in the past and will say it again that the tragedy of this generation is a fatherhood that condemns and never leads.
Open your arms to the children
Fatherhood is an open arms ministry. Fathers do it all by accepting their children before anything else.
I mean, you do not first rebuke and do all you do without doing first things first.
The first thing to do is to open your arms and accept and embrace the children.
They are better disciplined in the arms of love than those of hostility. Anger is not part of fatherhood. The spirit and action of fatherhood is love and acceptance.
When our children are beaten up by the world, they must find joy and peace in their father’s arms.
Many of us are such condemners, so much that our children feel safe in the world than in our homes. When it is like this fatherhood has lost its salt.
What am I saying beloved? The world is sick. Many homes are sick.
Our children are growing up in dangerous times. It will take sound and loving fathers to heal the world.
Remember this always that whether you are a believer in Christ or not, you shall one day approach the judgment seat of God and give an account about your children.
Before you get there, let us help each other as fathers, so we can be confident enough to present them to their Maker, in good shape.
Fathers we have a huge responsibility in this generation. How willing are you to be a father to your children?
Well, be blessed as you do this godly responsibility. At Fruitful Marriages, we strive to help you with both your marital and family fitness.
We desire to see fruitful marriages and wealthy families in this generation. This is our conviction.
Kilton Moyo is creator of Fruitful Marriages, a renewal and enrichment programme, and is pastor, counsellor and author of Marriage Fitness. Call or whatsapp on +263 775 337 207, +263 772 610 103 or [email protected]
