Last week, I wrote about developing a family character, and asked a few questions as to what legacy you want for your family. I am convinced in my heart that all of us desire and are working hard to build very sound families that would give our children and their children lasting heritages of good rather than bad, right rather than wrong, righteousness rather than evil and of course wealth rather than poverty.
Relationships; Kilton Moyo
The family, as I said the other day, is the first community of people that God created and gave a huge mandate or mission to accomplish. Apart from just multiplying, which we have done extremely well, we must steward the earth. This means we must produce cadres, who are stewards. This means that the family has a huge role to play in the preservation of the earth or in its destruction.
This also means that the values of life are learnt in the family more than at school. The family, therefore, is a foundational learning centre for humanity. Humanity is produced (procreated), groomed, developed, and trained in life in the family.
If this is true, what has your family been training or producing? The product of your family depends entirely on the spirit that runs it. Some families are run by spirits of divination, witchcraft, drunkenness, hatred, laziness, poverty. Others are run by the spirit of kindness, order, diligence, love, pioneering and many others. But all this is by choice.
I have heard many people justify wrong things running in their families by claiming that it is their inheritance.
You cannot sit back and claim that division, laziness, drunkenness and all those things that trouble you and your family are your inheritance. To me this is choice. You choose to either have a noble and dignified family or reckless and corrupt family. You make it.
This is why I want to encourage somebody today by saying to you; it is up to you to make a family you desire.
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How do you to this?
Recognise the issues afflicting your family now. The first step to changing the direction of your family to a sound one, is to recognise those issues that have afflicted you so much. Know them and confront them. To most of us, it is character and mindsets. You can deal with these by deciding you have nothing anymore to do with them. Decide to change. Change is a decision you make.
Do not just admire others, rise up and do what they are doing to have stable and supportive families. If your family is afflicted by drunkenness, just stop drinking. Face up to your challenges. Some major challenges derailing most families today are things like, hatred, sibling rivalry, jealousy, disunity, drunkenness, witchcraft and others. These are the more basic.
Family members cannot even help each other. They compete and fight and destroy each other. They steal from each other. They are fighting over things they do not even know, because their grandparents did this 100 years ago. Come on beloved, somebody needs to grow up. You cannot perpetuate such to all these generations.
Arise and face up so you can enjoy change and transformation in the family. A family is a place of peace and acceptance. It is where we learn love. Unfortunately, we are training on hatred more than love.
Take the lead
Most families that struggle do not have a leader. Someone just has to stand up and lead. This time, you do not want a leader, who is leading you to the same things that caused you to be where you are.
I think you need a leader to take you to a new thing and that new thing should be God. The Bible is clear that unless God builds a house, they labour in vain that build it.
Lead the family back to its maker and He will establish yours. Most of us are afraid to lead. Without sound leadership most families are struggling and will remain bondaged by poverty, fear, witchcraft and idolatry.
Do not condemn your family to failure because you are waiting for your elder sibling to lead, while they cannot. You are waiting on your uncle to give leadership but he is not. You are waiting on your aunt to give leadership but she is not.
You cannot be waiting. Surely, you have a duty to play for the sake of your family and children and their children’s children.
Do something. You are the change-maker in your family. Let us give our families leadership and we will see the transformation we want.
Build the unity
How blessed it is for brethren to dwell together in unity. The Bible says,where there is unity God commands a blessing, life forever more.
We need unity in families. How are you teaching or training your own children on unity? What are you saying to your children about your own siblings or people?
Maybe you are the better off sibling and others are struggling. Are you willing to go out of your personal way to help them or you teach your children to shun them? Family, beloved is a place of blessing each other. It is a place of being there for one another.
We deny ourselves, the blessing of the Lord by allowing the enemy to cause enmity in our families. How united are your own children? Maybe you have favourites? My encouragement to you is to build a family team that is based on love and honour and fear of God.
Build a team that loves and cherishes each other. Build a family team that is united physically, spiritually and emotionally. A team that stands together and wins together. A team that covers each other’s nakedness, this is what family is.
You do not want your family to suffer disunity anymore. You can do something. Beloved, you all have a duty to play in your family. Your duty is to build and not destroy.
Wherever you are, prioritise your family and do it all for the good of the family. What do you desire about your family? Work it out in prayer, invest into it and you shall have it. Let us enjoy family beloved.
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