Every family has a huge eternal purpose to procreate and produce humans, who fear God, love God, love their neighbours, as they love themselves and, who care about their environment and live in peace with all other humans on earth.
Relationships: Kilton Moyo
The foundational values of human life are taught and learnt at home. What we are in the world, at our workplace, on the streets and everywhere is not a result of school education, but home education. I know this is debatable, but the truth is ever valuable.
The family is the biggest life-school for every one of us. The family, as I have always said, trains, grooms and shapes attitudes and values and gives us all character and personality.
The sad thing, however, in the world today is the deliberate sabotage of the foundational purpose of the family and substituting its role and nature with schools and governments.
It is not the role of the government to discipline children. It is not the role of schools either. It is the fundamental role of every parent. It is the duty of the family. In this generation, parents look up to governments to do their role and this is the shame that has befallen the family set up.
The devil loves this, as he has come up with a lot of stupid theories perpetuated now by many social workers and activists’ encouraging the weakness of the family instead of restoring the foundations.
Many of us have bought into this lie and we have messed up childhood and produce cadres for the devil more than God.
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In every family, there is a particular atmosphere that either helps to raise children or it makes this role difficult. Today, I just want to show you a few negative atmospheres that have hurt the family so much.
These have caused the family to fail dismally in its duty to parent, nurture and train children in God’s way. I know and you also know that these days, the whole world is kicking God out of everything and we call it human rights.
You wonder how right these wrongs are. We call it diversification, inclusion, and use many other big but hollow words.
Let me just show you these atmospheres that have destroyed many families. Maybe yours is suffering from these. Fear not, you can reset the course of your family if you want.
Destructive criticism
In some families, this kind of criticism marks everything. Parents destroy each other and destroy their children with this. People are so critical of each other and everything and nothing is appreciated. Children are confused and do not know what is right and what is wrong because everything is rubbished.
This kind of situation does not promote unity or confidence. It creates people, who never trust anyone or believe even in themselves. It produces failures and very negative people. Most children from this kind end up in gangs, on the streets, in drugs, prostitution or even committing suicide.
Unrealistic expectations
Have you ever seen parents, who have unrealistic expectations about their children? How sad they become. Have you seen children, who also expect angelic services from frail parents? How sad they end. Most of us, parents, are caught up in this trap. We want our children to over perform their abilities.
We want them to live their lives for us. They must fulfil our dream and not their dreams. This is a point of conflict. It helps to know your child and expect within their potential.
This way you can appreciate them more and better and help build them up. We destroy our children by expecting them to be what they are not designed to be. We end up fighting them and provoking them.
Condemnation
A family that condemns rather than praises and affirms is bound to produce thugs. Hardened criminals. Most criminals grew up condemned to nothing. Most of them are victims of parental condemnation. They grew up with a lot of labels and stigma. Family is a place of encouragement and not condemnation. Love does not condemn but inspires and encourages. Imagine the combination of a condemned mother, children and father. The results are exactly what the devil wants.
Intimidation and fear
Children growing up intimidated by their home environment fail to relate well with the world and others. They grow up in a self-defending mode and are ready to strike in revenge. Fear produces weaklings. Fear steals dreams and passion for life. You do not want to produce children who live and walk in such fear.
I am sure you have heard or seen families, who live under such conditions. You might have gone through this and they affects the way you parent, now but I want you to know there is a way out. It’s never late.
My intention today is to challenge us to choose the better way of doing family. Parents stop provoking your children to anger. Bring them up in such a way that they will become everything God intended them to be and that you desire as a parent.
As a parent, what is your desire for your child? If you know it and have it in the heart or written down, you will be able to come up with ways of seeing it through. Most of us have challenges in that we have no vision for our children and we do not consult them to know more about them and their dreams.
Our duty is to create the right atmosphere in the family to allow the bringing up of excellent individuals for God and for us too. What is the atmosphere like in your family?
Fruitful Marriages is an enrichment programme meant to help you make your marriage and family work. We help you with all the levels of fitness in marriage and family. Our exciting school of marriage is for everyone who desires to enjoy a blissful marriage. Our great book, Marriage Fitness is now available.
Kilton Moyo is creator of Fruitful Marriages, a renewal and enrichment programme and is pastor, counsellor and author of The Sex Trap. Call or WhatsApp on +263 775 337 207, +263 772 610 103 or [email protected]
