I am back with the subject of sex in marriage by public demand. I am fully convinced now that we are sitting on a sex crisis in most marriages and we just have to swallow our pride as a people and face up to the realities of our situations. We cannot continue using ignorance as an excuse. It is very harmful. We cannot continue using hypocrisy as a way of life. It is a pain. We just have to open up, speak out and help each other. I am actually surprised that so many of us struggle with sex issues in marriages. There is need to deliberately commit ourselves to learning about sex and how our bodies function sexually, so that we can minimise the shame that ignorance has brought to many of us in marriage. I am not a health specialist, but a counsellor and teacher of the word of God, who likes learning and finding out about issues that affect people. I remember in 2012 when God told me to write about issues that affect people in their daily lives. I started writing books and these kinds of articles to you. I hope, therefore, that we will both learn and help each other, as we talk about sex in marriage. I must admit that in the past two weeks, I have learnt a lot and have discovered we all need help. Like I said last week, our lack of knowledge is a trap. Today I want us to go a bit deeper and wider on this.
Kilton Moyo
Sexual disorders vary and bring a lot of shame to many. Things like erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation and prostate disorders, just to name a few, are very common in men. Some couples actually fight over these. Many still believe these are due to either witchcraft or infidelity, which really is unfortunate. I have discovered that the biggest culprit and cause of our poor sexual health is the food that we eat. Maybe we need to rethink our diets and the kind of food we consume. Most of the food is chemicalised. It is produced scientifically and is not and will never be good for our bodies. We cannot continue to ignore the negative impact of this food on our bodies and our health. It gives us more toxins than nutrients required by our bodies. Our bodies were designed for natural foods. I am not surprised that in the beginning, in Genesis 1: 29. God gave us a kind of food to eat. And God said, “See, I have given you every herb that yields seed, which is on the face of all the earth, and every tree whose fruit yields seed; to you it shall be for food.” This is not religion or anything else but God’s creation and design. Substituting this natural food with our chemicalised, processed foods has brought us many ailments. Well, we are paying the price for our misplaced civilisation.
My invitation to us all is to try our best to revert to the natural and organic things God gave us. They are very good for our health. Food has a great impact on our health. Most things we struggle with sexually can be reduced and even stopped if we disciplined ourselves enough and stuck with nature more than fiction. These chemicalised foods affect our bodies with such things as high blood pressure, too much toxins in the body, too much fat, and many other things that will directly affect our sexual passions leading to low libido and premature ejaculations. I am not ignorant of other factors, but all I am saying is that we can start our recovery by controlling what we can easily control.
May I suggest the following to many of my brothers suffering the shame of prostate disorders, premature ejaculation, low libido, erectile dysfunction and many others.
l Let us change our diets. Let us go back to natural foods or our traditional foods. I can assure you that we can find help there. l Do not be afraid to visit your doctor and explain your condition. They will help you. Do not worsen your situation by hiding it. Men out there, let us get checked so we can be helped.
l Talk to people you trust and who can help you about your challenge. You can talk to us.
l Set up church groups or social groups as men, where you can share and help each other. Invite knowledgeable people to come and share with you in your groups. Do not share folk tales.
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l Women are not left out as they also suffer the same. Let us meet and help each other.
l As a couple, talk about your sexual challenges. Do not fight over them. When your spouse is going through a dysfunction of some sort, do not add stress by demanding sex. Come along them and help them through. Give them love and not criticism.
If we all desired to get working knowledge on our sexual lives in marriage, we would all enjoy marriage and we will all be committed to each other. Next week, God willing, I will show you how to handle these dysfunctions as a couple.
Otherwise for more on these attend our seminars and our School of Marriage which is coming soon. Visit our blog fruitfulmarriages.wordpress.com and learn more. Invite us to your gatherings and call us for counselling and enrichment.
l Kilton Moyo is creator of Fruitful Marriages, a renewal and enrichment programme and is pastor, counsellor and author of The Sex Trap. Call or whatsapp on +263 775 337 207, +263 772 610 103 or [email protected]
