Let me start by thanking and appreciating all those who sent me feedback on our last two articles under this topic, where we are looking at foundational principles of marriage. I am glad that we can engage and learn together. Marriage, as an institution, is built on foundational principles that we cannot ignore and still hope we are doing marriage. Nothing else builds marriage except what God established as its principles and purpose. I will repeat the eternal truth that marriage is not about our human cultures or religions but, about God. So far, we have looked at four principles namely; one man one wife, giving affection, leaving and cleaving and transparency. These are foundational and make marriage what it ought to be. Today we want to look at two more principles and this will be my last article on this topic. Otherwise, you can get more of these on our blog or when you attend our seminars on marriage. By the way, we are working on our first ever Winter School of Marriage. You will definitely love this. It’s a five-day school on the most troublesome topics in marriage. Keep checking.
By Kilton Moyo
The principle of submission cannot be ignored. Ephesians 5:22 is clear as instructing wives, to submit to their own husbands as to the Lord. This submission is foundational and gives marriage its full purpose. Submission does not mean to be inferior like the world teaches. Feminism misleads women in teaching that submission is a form of oppression. I want to make it clear to you that, this is a lie. Actually feminism is not a biblical concept. It is a humanistic concept that seeks to confuse womanhood more, while purporting to be liberators. I agree that traditional-minded men abuse this principle of submission, but it is not on its own evil as feminism would suggest. Wives are submitting to their own husbands as unto the Lord. How are you as a wife submitted to the Lord Jesus? Jesus expects you to do the same to your own husband because your husband is your head, leader, protection and covering as Jesus is to His church.
Never miss these important principles. Submitting to Christ, while you cannot submit to your own husband, is hypocritical. I have seen many wives, who find it easy to submit to their bishops, prophets and bosses at work than submitting to their husbands. This is not godly. The way of God is that you submit to your own husband as unto the Lord. To submit is simply allowing your husband to perform his leadership role, while you perform your helpmate role. You are not worshiping them, but you are coming under so you can help and build up. You lose nothing, but gain more. No one submits to Christ and lose themselves. It’s the same way. Many wives break their own hedge of protection by not submitting to the protection anointing at home. He is your head and has a duty of Christ to do towards you. A marriage, where there is this proper submission, enjoys godly peace and growth. You are submitted, but are still yourself and maintaining your dignity, giftedness and personality. Did you know that some problems, sicknesses in marriage and many other ills and even some poverty is due to the violation of such principles?
While still here, let me bring your attention to verse 21. It all begins with us all submitting one to another in the fear of the Lord, men submitting to women and women submitting to men in the kingdom of God. This is respecting and honouring each other as believers. If we learn this, then we can move to the deeper level of submission in marriage. There is nowhere in the Bible where it says women should submit and be inferior to men in society. I want to put it to you that anywhere else, man and woman are equal, whether you believe it or not. We have just believed a lie for centuries and have confused humanity.
Then there is the principle of husbands loving their wives just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it. This is unconditional love. Your wife does not have to do anything to receive this love. I have heard many men call me and accusing their wives of not submitting to them or respecting them and threatening to withdraw their love from the wives. This is not the way to do it. You are asked or required to love as Christ loved and gave Himself. Beloved, loving your wife is sacrificial. Some husbands would give themselves for things and not their wives. They would sacrifice their limbs for their cars than their wives. You love them whether they have cooked or not. You are loving them whether they give you sex or not. You love them all the time. Your love is not based on their performance. Marriage is not basically a place of performance but of love and submission. The wife submits whether the husband is progressing or not. The husband loves whether the wife is respecting or not. Love heals all these ills and submission builds confidence in men. It is your duty as a husband to love, regardless. It is your duty to sanctify and cleanse through the teaching of the word of God to your wife. Unfortunately many Christian men leave this to pastors and Bishops and lose the respect thereof. Your wife is your responsibility. Let me sum this up for us husbands out there. You love your wife as Christ loved the church. You love your wife as your own body. You nourish and cherish her just as Christ does to the Church. There you are.
To enjoy marriage just have the guts to follow simple basic principles.
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Kilton Moyo is creator of Fruitful Marriages, a renewal and enrichment programme and is pastor, counsellor and author of The Sex Trap. Call or whatsap on +263 775 337 207, +263 772 610 103 or email@example.com