Fear is one of those things that will affect every one of us in our lifetime. It’s a feeling that at times causes our hearts to throb at a faster rate. Fear drains a lot of energy and distracts the mind because it makes one to constantly think of the very thing they don’t want to think about. Fear paralyses some people to the extent that they cannot do anything.
It is a negative force that causes anxiety. The best way to beat your fear is to fuel it with courage, faith and doing the very thing you are afraid of. What causes people to be in fear?
At times in life we fear being embarrassed, especially if the outcome does not come out as intended. Your destiny will at times call for you to go beyond that. There was a time I made an investment through thousands of dollars in United States terms. I was so expectant of the rewards. I had even told my partners of what I was expecting.
The very thing I didn’t want to happen struck! I lost all my investments. Imagine, the promises I had made to some business partners? As an entrepreneur you have to be strong enough to stomach all that. If it was someone, I would not have tried again, but tell you want? Some of my closest friends laughed. Some even told me that I should not have taken the risk. Some men are just afraid to propose to a lady because they are embarrassed by the word no. They end up not marrying.
Fear of what other people think
People have their own perceptions of who you are. Some people are intimidated by who you are and some they think you proud, some think you are good than them! The first time I walked to the stage to talk with business people, I felt as if someone had taken my clothes off. Phlegm clogged my thought and my head went blank. The other thought was saying: “Boy you can’t match the standard, those people are better than you. Jonah, you have come just to embarrass yourself.”
That is what I thought people where thinking of me. The only thing I did not think of is that those people highly esteemed me. It’s only when they began to applaud, where I knew that I was saying something with sense. Are people stopping? Don’t worry, do what you must do, they are also busy thinking of what you think of them.
Fear of failure and past experiences
Some people are just afraid to fail. I think schoolteachers and parents are also to blame for this. I still remember at school that if I failed a subject I would be punished for that. As if that has no danger, it makes people to be afraid on new things.
People are not so sure of change as a result they would rather stay with the devil they already know. Someone would rather keep his low paying job, than start a business. Some would better stay on the laurels and not try something new. It is all because of fear to change. In my book, the The Big You I created an acronym out of the word “change”. This will challenge your intellect and thrust you into new levels.
Challenge your old traits/ thoughts
Harness new inventions
Acquire new ideas everyday
Navigate in virgin territories and be a leader of change
Gear up for greater risks
Exceed set norms and break records
At times you have to flow against the tide and embrace the real “you” other than what other people want you to be in life. People around you do not have a correct concept of what you are, other than the real you and God.
If at birth the mother to Bill Gates knew fully what she was carrying in her hands, she would have started celebrating the success of her child. Generally, people around you do not have an idea of who you are and what your potential is; so stop letting their perceptions define you. People might misunderstand you, but that does not mean that you are wrong or have to be what they want you to be. Rather think about what you want to be.
Some people are just obsessed by fear. They are not so sure what they want, but they are filed with fear. Fear might creep in because you are not confident about your abilities. Fear is a tumor that might cause paralysis to our dreams. It has been said that is nothing to fear than the fear itself. The Bible says: “God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and love, and of sound mind” (2 Timothy 1vs. 7)
At times people may deny you because you seem to be our of the norm. You are too special and unique and even if people deny you, they cant change anything. Your dream has to be big enough to attract denial from some sectors of the society. In most cases, people go well with what they already know other than a new design. People are naturally opposed to change and the new invention that you might want to experiment on can cause some people to be against you. Does that mean you should give up? NO! That should not trouble your heart because you are unique enough to be different and to attract opposition. At times denial is a proof that you want to change the situation. Usually if you want to bring change, there will be a few people who will support you. Some deny you because they fear taking risks. Secondly, they are timid that if your plan crumbles they will be identified with you when you turn into a laughing stock. However, it is better for you to try than never.
Fear of hatred
The most defining moment in life is when people will hate you simply because of who you are. Enemies are important because they push you to aim high. You might be saying, Jonah, should we make more enemies than friends? No! Whether you like it or not there are people that will be your enemies even though you love them with the pure love of God.
At times it is the enemy who will tell you the truth, point blank more than your friend who may be flattering you with lies or chocolate-coated words to impress you. The person that might betray you is one who is closest, because they might give you a false kiss but at the same time lie to you.
That is betrayal! The enemy test is painful like a medical injection, but at the same time as important as the medicine in the injection for treatment. Some have put it this way: No pain no gain! No guts no glory! In this case it is the pain of the enemy and your guts to face him head-on.
Over time I post on social media, about how we can help the poor, it seems very normal. When I begin to say I want to be ultra-rich, I receive all kinds of opposition. Our societies have been socialized to think that rich people are never good at all. Which I think should be corrected. Anyone has the absolute right to be rich as long as it is legitimate.
All people that are better than normal individuals they conquered their fear. There is so much power that resides in us to an extent that neurologists say that most people use less than 10% of their mind in their lifetime. If we let fear take the best of us, we can’t make it in life. It’s time to stand up and face our fears!
●Jonah Nyoni is an author, success coach, leadership trainer and public relations consultant.
Tel: 0772 581 918. Email: firstname.lastname@example.org