FIRST it was Long John with a few jokes.
By Garikai Tunhira
Striking chords of laughter with jokes about his height and how he was always infuriated at school when his teachers would always ask him to “sit down”, despite him being “seated on the floor”, he scribbled the mood of the Saturday night hour-long show.
His presentation was not up to scratch, but it worked well for the other comedians who would come after him.
The host, Michael K, always made sure everyone was attentive each time he came on stage to introduce the next comedian.
Before calling Cde Fatso on stage, Michael K went through the paces of a cheating husband, how when he receives a text message on his phone he always finds a way of reading it away from his wife. He took a dig at Indians, saying it was easy to see if they were lying.
“It starts with a ripple-like shaking of the hand which moves up the body and ends with the ripple shaking of the head,” he said.
Cde Fatso resonated well with the crowd as he tore into Zanu PF.
“Zanu PF is the biggest opposition to Zanu PF, and now what is (MDC-T leader) Morgan Tsvangirai supposed to do?” he asked, drawing laughter from the attendees.
Cde Fatso made fun of the type of animals killed for President Robert Mugabe’s 91st birthday bash held in Victoria Falls earlier this year.
Two elephants, two buffaloes, two sables and five impala were killed for the bash while a trophy lion was presented to the only leader Zimbabwe has known after independence.
“It’s funny how the president could eat the Big Five at his birthday bash.”
Cde Fatso also ridiculed the doctorate conferred on First Lady Grace Mugabe by the University of Zimbabwe last year, saying Zimbabwe had broken records of the fastest doctorate degree conferment.
The usage of words by most locals was made fun of, with words like “confisticate” being used in place of “confiscate”.
Football commentators were not spared.
After he was done, Michael K tore into drunk people and how much they get lost going to their cars in the parking lot and how white people walk straight in Pacman-like fashion when they are drunk. Coupled with action, his presentation was the “real deal”, getting a standing ovation from even those outside the tent.
Next on stage was Doc Vikela.
He made his entry onto the stage dancing to Loi by Democratic Republic of Congo rhumba musician Koffi Olomide. He said northern African dances concentrated on the top part of the body (chest up) and central Africans focussed on the waist while southern African dances concentrated on feet.
Just like Cde Fatso, he lampooned football commentary and Zimbabwean politics.