There is a video of a woman, whose WhatsApp messages to a lover were discovered, where she is pleading for forgiveness from her husband’s sisters that has gone viral.
Saturday Dialogue with Ropafadzo Mapimhidze
What is most intriguing is that it is women who have “sentenced her” and passed the divorce token of a few cents known as gupuro in Shona. Whilst I do not condone infidelity, the manner in which Faith Mutema was treated can best be described as inhuman.
I liken this incident to a story in John 8:6-10, about a prostitute who was to be stoned publicly after she was found guilty of committing adultery.
But as the people persisted in their questioning, Jesus straightened himself up and said to them: “Let the one among you who has never sinned throw the first stone at her.”
When they heard what Jesus said, they were convicted by their own consciences and went out, one by one, beginning with the eldest until they had all gone.
What is infuriating is that the video does not show her defence outline and judgment that was passed by the in-laws (tete’s) is what everybody is watching around the world.
Someone posted the video to me on WhatsApp from England and this goes to show how fast social networks can relay information. I believe that there are two sides to any story. Why would a married woman decide to venture into another man’s bed?
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Would the in-laws have done the same thing had their brother been caught doing the same thing?
The answer is that there is something about us women that makes us hate or spite people of our own gender.
There is no doubt that there could be many reasons why this marriage had plunged to those levels.
A man from my neighbourhood who is also estranged from his wife over more or less the same problem, says he has not told any member of his family why they are on separation.
He also said he has a brother that lives overseas who experienced the same problem, but he managed to save that marriage through dialogue.
“My brother is back with his wife and they now have a second child. Marriage is something that is very delicate and has to be handled with care. The wife’s lover eventually parted with his wife and went to Scotland leaving her in England.
“The video you are talking about broke my heart. I have no doubt that the husband is now regretting having told his relatives about these WhatsApp messages and pictures. The way the woman pleaded with her in-laws was heart-wrenching,” said the man from Westgate, Harare.
A comment I saw on Facebook from someone called Godobori said: “This guy is an idiot. Why did he leak his wife’s private conversations to the media? The kangaroo court is cultural, but recording and posting on whatsapp is not! Not that I’m supporting the whoring wife, but your Sh** is unacceptable! Now you will get your kids fingered for being born of an IDIOT and a WHORE.”
Most of the comments castigated the manner in which this incident was handled, with men admitting that most women are driven into extra marital affairs because the man is sexually bankrupt.
The woman has apparently received so much sympathy from social media networks with some wanting to get her mobile number so that they can just give her a word of encouragement.
The funny thing about the story is that surnames of Tonde, Faith’s lover and Patrick have not been revealed and we would like to know why?
“I think Patrick is a stupid man who failed to sexually satisfy his wife who ended up paying Tonde for sex. The husband is a weak man,” said another post on FB.
”The woman sought forgiveness . . . God has listened to her. These tete’s and Patrick refused to accept her plea which is fine. I am sure they must be angels themselves that have not sinned . . .” said another reader.
The latest information I got yesterday says that investigations done by some website newspaper alleges that Patrick is reportedly a womaniser who emotionally and sexually tortured his wife Faith Mutema.
It is allegedly said that Patrick would spend several nights away from home, enjoying his money and living large with other women.
“If Patrick continues trying to play ‘Mr Nice Guy’ we will expose his shenanigans as well. He is a serial cheat who would spend countless nights away from home, giving other women sex at the expensive of his wife. That‘s why Faith ended up having a night of sexual bliss with Tonderai in Eastlea because Patrick would also not be at home,” said a source who spoke to the website newspaper on condition of anonymity.
A girl child activist Nyaradzo Mashayamombe wrote: “The shame that was brought by Patrick’s relatives over Patrick shall remain in our memories for a life time, and for allowing his sisters to think they are embarrassing that woman. Even his children shall realise years later that their father failed them.
We are always telling you women are violated every day and some of you refuse to open your eyes to reality. How many men who cheat have we seen treated like this?
“Patriarchy taught us is that when a woman fails to satisfy her husband, the husband is justified to go out and get some comfort women. This man should be man enough and apologise.”
The question is, is this the best way Zimbabwe should deal with infidelity?
Are we, as a society, settling for naming and shaming? We should then brace for more drama because Patrick should have dealt with this matter amicably, protect his wife (that is if he truly loved her) for the benefit of his children.
Patrick should have stopped his sisters from recording this video, but he allowed them because he wanted to embarrass his wife. But the truth is that Patrick has demonstrated that he is a failed husband.
The whole world now knows that he failed to meet his marital contract in as far as conjugal rights are concerned.
A woman needs love just like man does. No man should fool himself into thinking that she doesn’t. She can fool around just like what her spouse would do.
Times have changed because women have become assertive, more independent and hence can find an easy escape route to release sexual tension.
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