Why do men go for prostitutes?

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Prostitution is the world’s oldest professions, but it has also proved to be the most dangerous thing of all in the country due to the ravaging Aids disease.

By Jairos Saunyama

But it seems that despite the deadly effects of the disease, men still go out to buy sex irrespective of their marriages back home.

Although he is happily married  with three children, Samson  (not his real name), a  41-year-old  successful lawyer in Harare, every Friday as the day gives away to darkness, it is indeed his routine to slowly drive his latest Toyota V8 Landcruiser around Harare’s Avenues Area.

The number of men who pay for sex has doubled in a decade
The number of men who pay for sex has doubled in a decade

He seems to be in search of something and suddenly he stops and starts flashing the hazard lights beckoning a young woman, barely out of puberty, dressed in a tight shiny black skirt that exposes her brown thighs.

The young woman, who has been standing by the roadside in the popular area, is waiting for unknown clients and the arrival of Samson is indeed an answer to her prayers.

Within a minute the big vehicle roars off, and people who see them thereafter mistake the two as a married couple.

Those who see the two cannot guess that it was only a matter of negotiating to start the ever short relationship, which in most cases lasts for a few minutes or one night.

A prostitute (right) negotiating with a potential client
A prostitute (right) negotiating with a potential client

This is not only Samson’s way of life, but the number of married men who take to prostitutes is ever increasing instead of going down. Despite the effects of the deadly HIV and Aids pandemic, men are still interested in the “ladies of the night” and the question, therefore, is: Why do men go for prostitutes?

A survey conducted by Newsday Lifestyle in the popular Avenues area and other red light zones in the capital revealed that most men who were interviewed had the same thing in mind.

“It is only about emotional struggle. The relationship is clearly based on sex, not anything else. It is not like having trouble trying to convince your wife or girlfriend to have sex, but with prostitutes it is very easy. Sex is not negotiated, only the price,” said one man who identified himself as Tinashe.

Another man who refused to be identified echoed the same sentiments and added that prostitutes give one value for money.

“When I am with a sex worker, there is no pressure. It does not matter whether she had a bad day or I had a bad day either, sex is guaranteed and as long as I pay for the service, I am assured of satisfaction.

“But it is a different tune with your wife or spouse. If she is tired or she had a bad day, she will not help you at all even if you need sexual intercourse badly,” he said.

However, another married man in his mid 40s, who identified himself as Barnabas Chikuku, revealed that he opted for ladies of the night because of a domestic problem.

“My wife of 13 years is no longer interested in sex. We can go for two weeks without sexual intercourse and I cannot bear it at all. I had no option, but to try the ladies of the night who proved to be efficient and indeed a solution to my problem,” he said.

Chikuku added that he is still married and will never leave his wife.

“I am still with my wife. It is not that we are enemies, but it is only that she is no longer interested in having sex like before and she has a right to deny me whenever she thinks so.

“She is my partner and I cannot sit down with a prostitute, have a cup of tea and discuss my family, it is just sex,” he said.

Local sociologist Dennis Zondi said most men engage prostitutes for various reasons.

“There are a number of reasons why men engage prostitutes, and most of these women are young, beautiful and smart. Few men can run away from these characteristics. Remember the sex workers know what men want and they capitalise on that.

“The other thing is, these ladies provide what men want at that time and they do not question or get angry, but rather lead the act with flashes of smiles which most men cannot get from their spouses. Prostitutes give attention at the right time,” he said.

Meanwhile, most men who do buy sex revealed how they fear the deadly HIV pandemic.

“I know there is HIV and Aids and at first I was scared of it until I learnt that most commercial sex workers use protection.

“Modern sex workers also fear for their lives and they now use protection and that keeps me going,” said a man who refused to be named.

A self-confessed prostitute who identified herself only as Mandy said they have all the skills that lure men to them.

“I do not complain or criticise a client even if he is bad in bed, rather we offer emotional and sexual safety. What I know is that sex to men is like what hair is to women.

“Most men are constantly rejected and rebuked by their wives and this affects their ego. When these men visit me, I makethem feel special and make them happy and this is business,” she said.

However, most commercial sex workers interviewed said the oldest profession is a risky business.

Besides the Aids pandemic, of late there have been cases of prostitutes being murdered.

“I have two children that need to be taken care of and I risk my life for them to survive,” said one woman.

According to a research published in 2009, it was found that the numbers of men who pay for sex had doubled in a decade. The authors attributed this rise to “a greater acceptability of commercial sexual contact”.

54 COMMENTS

  1. “For the lips of an immoral woman drip honey, And her mouth is smoother than oil; But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, Sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death, Her steps lay hold of hell” (Proverbs 5:3-5 NKJV).

  2. Only Jesus can pull a man out of a desire to fornicate with hookers and only Jesus can turn a filthy whore into a lady.

  3. so wives are refusing to give their husbands conjugal rights.. Im not backin up the skanks here bt sei madzimai ari kunyima varidzi vemba zvinhu zvavo.. sum1 told me “men REACT”.. Vedare ask the shrink uyo kti sei vakadzi varikunyima varume vavo, vakatobvisa rusambo by the way.. Mukadzi waBhana anoti baba varikudzimurwa nani..???
    Im 100% against prostitution bt it seems they are forced 2 come off the bench nekuti ma regular 1st team players are sulking in the dressing room ref atoridza kick off…
    Saka isu tisati taroora munoti tariro yedu imire papi apa if “most” wives are turning out to be stingy.. mhoti vanhu Havana kubvisa rusambo kuti vawachirwe..!!

  4. This is the reality indeed and its amazing the rate at which married men are the ones who goe mostly for these hookers really this is a pose for concern for the married women…at this rate Reality of an HIV Free Generation becomes questionable??

  5. baba vanotambira mari yavo vonyima mudzimai wavo,yosvika friday voenda kubhawa with the boys the whole weekend sunday voenda kubhora iwe mudzimai wosara nevana kukada kuti bufu murume okurova pedzezvo munhu oda kurara newe saka zvingaite here izvozvo.mudzimai anenge akatotonhora zvake.

  6. woman need be emotional satisfied for them to sexually satisfy their man. on the other hand man need to be sexually satisfied to be emotionally satisfied. there lies the problem.

  7. whatever you say the thing is men are hard wired to be promiscous, its in our DNA. Even if the wife at home is not refusing we still have the urge to “feel” something new and different. A man will always be attracted to a woman he hasnt yet slept with, unotongoda kumuravira.
    monogamy is a foreign concept to us African men.

    • Not all men, actually. Many may imagine things in their heads but it takes a real low life to actually cheat on a wife, later on consort with hos!

    • tsano Simba u just nid deliverance… mukamiririra chipfambi kudaro ko vanaskana venyu muchada kuti vawanikwewo netype dzakaita sewe… Society has evolved mukoma, get wit the programme

      • @me
        Let reality be reality, even those who are delivering people themselves are caught up in this web as well and also need deliverance! yes I dont condone such behavior, but as you said society has evolved. God will help us if we ourselves are making realistic and true efforts to right ourselves so lets identify the root cause then play our part and certainly God will deliver us from evil!!

  8. I have come to know of some heartless women who ‘deny’ their husbands, one such sad gentleman now has a young mistress who is more than willing and able to deliver, but he will never and has never resorted to filthy street women!

  9. think most women become complacent when they get married, they toss you like you’re one of the kids in the house. One philosopher once said; “If made equal to man, woman becomes his superior” so they can refuse anything. But some men are just a lost cause, they just cant leave their fornicating ways even if they get the most beautiful, understanding and caring woman!! So isu ana kitsi mabachelor totombo gara zvedu tichinyatso funga kuti is marriage worth it or we just impregnate a girl and refuse to marry but accept the responsibility of your child!!!! Food for thought.

  10. Its all abt striking a balance. Men think if they marry they can just get what they want from the woman. Mukadzi anonakidza kukwira akafara varume. Kwete kungoita basa rekutuka nekushungurudza madzimai uchiti akavinga kukwirwa saka haarambe, kurasika ikoko varume. Kusaita kwe bonde usually reflects bigger problems mumba. Garai nemadzimai mushe

    • biologically engineered thats what they are. but we need to sit down with the reporter, was he on some kind of medication coz how could one go to hell and still not get burnt? ane nyaya muface uyu.

  11. this is one of the many social problems we have to live with. You correctly say that it is the oldest profession so let us not use the wives as scapegoats. Let us talk of the natural attraction between male and female.Marriage has been part of the solution, but it has failed to completely curb prostitution. Only God’s grace is needed, because prostitution can never be justified under any circumstances.

  12. Asi nhai imi muri mudzimba, if you could gv an account of your expectations prior to marriage and the realities measuring up would you say you are the 1st ones.. If predecessors would tell us wat we think vs wat exists in ther then we would knw wat steps and wat frame of mind we nid to approach marriage. coz vakawanda vedu tinopindira “licence to have unlimited sex with no regret”, though it would seem that’s just a small piece of the pie (forgive the analogy).
    I thnk our culture has a weak link ipapo kti “chakafukidza dzimba”, if ther was some sort of “liberality” to speak on these issues then better unions could be formed, rather than the “pndai muzviwonere” iri kuitwa..
    its vari mukati want out and vari panze want in.. “mannequin in the shop window vs the window shopper complex”… can SOCIOLOGIST #DENNIS ZONDI attempt to untangle this quandary pliz…
    otherwise ataura TRIPARTITE pamusoro apo anenge ndiye ane yese…

    • Anything done for the wrong reasons goes two ways: 1. it won’t last 2. it will last but it will be a very miserable lasting. think twice before you act. some may ask what is wrong or right reason, but deep down we all know. The theory of everything is nothing without love, and love is divine.

  13. Its the demonic spirit of prostitution that compels males to ‘catch’ and have sex with whores. Imagine a man buying a whore a house, car and business only becoz of that smelly dirty and bloody thing btwn a woman’s legs (AXWOUND) Oh! God.

  14. Refuse a man his right to sex as a wife and you have just given him the right to have it with whomsoever he chooses.
    Fact of life.

    • @ you, i doubt its that automatic. that may be your biography, but not everyone’s. you won’t have given him the right, but you increase chances that he does. Do you know what a right is?? what if her reasons are valid?

  15. Many of these women are married as empty vessels (not virgins) and men thinks that their wives were once promiscuous so he never gets satisfied at home.

  16. you invite the ire of jenda minista when you refer to females that way. also ever wondered how to grade or label the wife who emerged from far flung growth point vicinity you may know too little about? these people you call funny names are actually consultants for law enforcement too and the samsons you do not understand. an information bank about the way society works today.

  17. Mudzimba umu vakadzi vanoita kunge mahouse gero tinoda vakadzi vedu ndosaka tisingavarambe kana kuroora vaviri. Vedare chitibetserai kuti toita sei kuti vakadzi vafarire bonde. imivo vakadzi muchitaura zvamunoda. Can you masterbate uine mukadzi? help varume tatambura.

  18. men go for working women in sympathy with their background of being child abused, divorced, orphaned widowed neglected (by social welfare) maddened by political power exploitation, shunned by holier than thous, stalkers, abortionists, murderers, manipulated by diamond thieves, money launderers, pimps,latter day saints. … who cares. shall they be thrown away or given a smoke. the answer lies not with self centre but love for one another first and foremostly.

  19. Jairos i think yr research shld`ve included also how much do the men pay per short time/night and how much do the women make etc. This talk of supporting kids, making a living etc is it true they live lavishly these galz? And why only in the avenues area?

  20. lets all read Galations 5:16 -23. Adultery & fornication are amongst those obnoxious sin,that will make one miss heaven. Bretheren,this is the sealing time. Judgement day is coming,is just behind the corner,(Revelation 22 :10 -12). Lets confess & repent of our evil deeds for eternal life’s sake. May God bless us & have mercy on us all.

  21. amunoti ma equal rights aya ndingamudii mwana we vanhu kan saunga gumbo.wo rova here ,wotuka wodiiko ivo mapurisa nemacourts iri batai munhu pa dv kunyangwe uriwe watadzirwa best way kungoti aita chake ndihombarume kunyange zvichiuraya

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