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There is life after divorce

Opinion & Analysis
After divorce, many if not all want to prove to their ex that they were the best thing to ever happen in the life of their ex.

After divorce, many if not all want to prove to their ex that they were the best thing to ever happen in the life of their ex.

Sermon of the week with Pastor Erasmus Makarimayi

Some will go all the way to fix and stop the flow of life of their ex.

They want to prove that they are not yet past best before date and want to brew a shocker and spring a surprise win as a duck horse. If it were a game of cards, crazy eight, this is the time joker is brought out.

As a matter of fact they want to show that life has just begun and feel they will recover all the years lost in the failed marriage; pressed down, shaken together and running over.

Image tarnishing and smear campaigns are used as divorcees fight for legitimacy in society. Many will haunt their ex to force them to return and beg. The trauma of unwinding marriage in which you said vows to love each other for better or worse is pretty devastating when that ends.

Last week, we said that it was never God’s intent to allow divorce. I don’t condone divorce; however, when couples decide to divorce then life after divorce has to be managed wisely.

Life after divorce needs the right attitude through love, wisdom, maturity, responsibility and restraint.

The starting point of course is to go back to the author, God, and seek direction and guidance.

This is not the time to run away from God accusing Him of reneging on His promises to you. It’s a call to run to Him for comfort. Repentance and forgiving each other will open doors of healing and you will flourish in your next relationship.

Be humble and say sorry and move on.

Unforgiveness blocks you from progressing. In a marriage both partners make mistakes. Claiming outright win as having been the one always doing well is farfetched.

If you feel you were the better spouse on a balance of scale then remain the better one after divorce.

If you failed to change your partner during the subsistence of the marriage, the chances to do so now are remote.

The breakup of a marriage can turn your whole world upside down and trigger all sorts of painful feelings.

Learn from the experience and grow into a stronger and wiser person. Living happily and victoriously after divorce goes beyond mere positive thinking.

I respect all the mental faculties given to us by God, but we need the spiritual muscle of God in our marriages and life in general. The Holy Spirit goes beyond the inspiration of motivation, is stronger than therapy, greater than the theories of psychology and far-reaching than psychiatry.

Spiritual deliverance not just secular counselling is necessary. The Spirit of God can go as far back as generations before you to heal your past and can touch you right now and travel to your tomorrow to perfect things ahead of you.

Divorce hurts so much even when the relationship is no longer good for you. The unknown often seems worse than an unhappy marriage. A divorce is painful because it represents the loss, not just of the relationship, but also of shared dreams and commitments.

When a marriage falls apart, one or both partners may experience relief and the other or both may experience profound disappointment, stress and grief.

Finding legitimacy to life in a world that excludes divorcees is devastating.

The married will not trust you near their spouses. At work they may demote you or won’t consider you for promotion and senior posts saying you are irresponsible and you are a failure.

The Church may even keep you at bay lest you contaminate others.

Sometimes you have nowhere to escape to as either way there is lion opening its mouth or a blast furnace hit seven times over.

This is the time to seek a personal and deeper relationship with God. Divorce disrupts everything and life goes out of orbit if not properly handled. Suicide, madness, drugs, alcoholism, prostitution, overeating and other forms of vile will offer themselves to you at a discount.

Recovering from divorce can be difficult. Healing may take time, but you should move on.

Society and painfully the church may ostracise you but you are still a person acceptable to God for reconstruction.

This is the time you need to trust the sufficiency of God. Though you may have failed to maintain your marriage covenant, your covenant keeping God is saying in Joshua 1:5c: “I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.”

Wipe your tears and don’t think revenge and move on. You are going somewhere.

All scripture quotations are from the King James Version of the Bible Feedback: pastor@newgatechapel.org

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