HomeOpinion & AnalysisColumnistsDull Tambo: The perfect political cosmetologist

Dull Tambo: The perfect political cosmetologist

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Xtreme Opinion is my Trademark of Polemic Bigotry.

Column by Rejoice Ngwenya

On Sunday June 2, 2013, on SABC 3’s People of the South documentary, host Dali Tambo was in his natural habitat: superfluous aristocracy laced with exaggerated self-worth, whiskers twitching with feline treachery, grovelling to the whims of a totally detached Blame-it-on-Blair President Robert Mugabe.

If this was meant to be a deep-sea expedition to an African hero’s life, it turned out to be kayaking on a cheap garden “waterfall”.

My take: Dali Tambo is the devil incarnate, a somewhat modern-day caricature of the Biblical Mark of the Beast, triple six, the epitome of abomination of
desolation.

He finally outperformed Lucifer, with more falsettos in one voice than any grand piano can exude in a single octave.

Like a phoenix rising from the ashes of ignorance to the dizzying heights of lunacy, Dali appeared surreal to the point of vulnerable, mechanical dinosaur spewing phlegm of praise, consumed with shameless idolatry.

He came across as that rare, but vocal breed of South African dunderheads who worship Mugabe to the point of prostrate idiocy, totally detached from reality, floating in the orbit of self-delusion.

I guess he finally realised his childhood fantasy of dining with The Emperor, flapping about like a content 13th century monarchial spoiled brat.
Dali can now die in blissful tranquility.

His pampered narrative of Mugabe’s so-called humaneness refracts through the prism of upper class naivety.

Dali’s father, the late nationalist Oliver Tambo, president of African National Congress, was a man of honour who abhorred racism.

He must be turning in his grave to “see” his son blatantly exploited like a willing spin doctor of a fading, but violent political dynasty.

The only legacy he inherited from Oliver is one — family name.
Ahgh, Robert Mugabe has “made mistakes, but in general he’s going to go down in history with a very positive perspective from Africans”.

Which narrow-minded, politically disabled African does Dali cluster in this proverbial group of psychotics?

Mugabe “has been misunderstood and ill-judged by a lot of the Press”.
Bizarre!

Vacuum-cleaning Zanu PF with sanitised accolades to the point of self-immolation!
Dali, use the periscope of your rogue political submarine to encounter the harsh realities of Mugabe’s true political persona.

In the 1980s, 20 000 citizens perished under the bayonet of Gukurahundi during Mugabe’s watch.

Year 2000 and beyond, Zanu PF “orderly chaos” displaced millions of Zimbabweans into South Africa, Botswana, England, the USA and Australia.

During this decade of madness, we laboured under a billion % inflation that decimated incomes, destroyed industry and pushed unemployment to
over 90%.

Zimbabweans suffered from State-sponsored repression and electoral violence that saw thousands of villagers molested in torture bases.

Dali may have not noticed: Zimbabwe now imports most of its food, has no currency of its own while its cities have little running water.

Mugabe wields the most repressive media laws which have resulted in journalists losing their livelihoods.

Only Zanu PF members can freely host political meetings while arbitrary arrests are made possible by selective application of the law.

It may not matter to Dali, but we are burdened with service chiefs spiteful of electoral democracy.

There is evidence of how our prized diamonds are looted by an anointed few with absolutely no chance that national resources will be channelled to restoring infrastructure plundered by decades of Zanu PF misrule.

There are millions of Mugabe’s “my people” who will never experience a fraction of stately hospitality encountered by Dali.

Their spouses are either exiled or perished in Zanu PF’s violent wars of self-preservation.

“Dull” Tambo skilfully evaded these.

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