There are some people who have approached the High Court to have their marriages annulled for reasons as diverse as the backgrounds from which they come, only to have a lifeline thrown to them and their marriages — which they had thought irreparable — getting actually repaired. REPORT BY PHILLIP CHIDAVAENZI SENIOR FEATURES WRITER
This was after several judges presiding over divorce cases felt marriages could be retrieved and referred them to the Marriage Centre — an institution established and run by Impact Christian Centre pastors Davison and Gwendoline Kanokanga.
Davison is a pastor, marriage counsellor, author and lawyer at Kanokanga&Partners Legal Practitioners in Harare. The couple has two sons.
Divorce and other civil lawsuits at the High Court went up by at least 50% last year, leading to the appointment of more judges, according to Justice and Legal Affairs minister Patrick Chinamasa. The High Court last year dealt with up to 18 000 civil cases, with divorce topping the list. In 2011, 12 759 had been brought before the court.
In a wide-ranging interview with NewsDay, Kanokanga — who has just published his eighth book on marriage titled The Love Life — said his work on marriage transcended his duties and interests as a lawyer and was a calling from God.
He said it was unfortunate that many couples that sought divorce looked at it as a solution to marital challenges when it was just symptomatic of underlying problems.
“The effect on the children is often overlooked,” he said. “They just look at being liberated from a difficult marriage unaware that they could be creating new challenges for themselves. For instance, how will their friends address and relate with them once they have gone separate ways?”
Often, Kanokanga said, he would take the couples through the implications of divorce, give them one of his books titled Marriage Can Work and then give them time to reconsider, adding that he would not force his opinion on them.
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Kanokanga attributed the increase in divorce cases to a number of factors, including technological advancements that have seen the creation of social networking sites such as Facebook and — he added — even a mobile phone.
“These new technologies have made it much easier for people to cheat. Now you can cheat even in the comfort of your home, or in your car, while busy on your mobile phone or ipad,” he said. “You’ll have ‘old flames’ hooking up on Facebook.”
In several of the divorce cases emanating from unfaithfulness that he has handled, Kanokanga said one spouse would say they discovered a love message in their partner’s cellphone.
He said it was important for the country to have legally recognised marriage centres to assist the courts in dealing with cases of divorce.
“I have cases in which some High Court judges have referred litigants (in divorce cases) here. I think this should be part of our legal system where, at the pre-trial conference, a judge should ask whether the litigants have been to a recognised marriage counselling centre. There should be certified institutions where judges can refer people considering divorce,” he said.
Kanokanga, however, noted that not all marriages headed for collapse were retrievable, especially if either of the parties was arrogant or unwilling to reform.
“In one such case,” Kanokanga chuckled, “a spouse who wanted divorce — instead of taking counsel from me — wanted to counsel me!”
He described such people as “unteachable” as they always sought to have their way.
He noted that many of the people that ended up with problematic marriages would not have undergone pre-marital counselling, but perhaps just had a few minutes with some leaders in their church.
It is against this backdrop that Kanokanga is planning to set up a centre to cater for the needs of single men and women desiring marriage partners within a Christian set-up. He said a lot of matchmaking was being carried out through newspapers where some people were hooking up with strangers and ended up in trouble. The centre, he said, will provide literature, counselling as well as conduct seminars for singles seeking life partners.
“This will be a platform to provide single people, some of whom are suffering badly, to have issues affecting their love life dealt with. This will be a platform where healing can take place and counter Internet dating,” he said.
Each marriage, Kanokanga said, met challenges unique to itself and some were meant to strengthen the marriage.
Kanokanga has a tight schedule. He practices law from Monday to Friday during working hours and attends to counselling appointments after hours. Writing is usually reserved for holidays and weekends during early hours while other family members are still asleep.
