“Who invited him? If you are the one who invited him just make sure by the time I get home he is gone. He can’t just come without our consent,” furiously charged a young woman while talking to her husband over the phone.
Report by Jairos Saunyama
The idea of arriving home and finding her husband’s younger brother from Mberengwa galled her. As far as she was concerned, her family was complete with her husband and their two-year-old daughter.
She considered other relatives a burden she was not prepared to carry.
This picture portrays how the long-cherished concept of the extended family has been under increasing pressure in the modern world where the immediate family has become more important.
Children were cared for by parents and the extended family until they grew to become independent and as parents grew older, their offspring and other family members made arrangements on how to care for them. Orphans were never left without care in our society as they would fit into their immediate relatives’ families.
In this era, not many aged people in our communities enjoy the benefit of having quality care from their offspring in their twilight years, with many of them now crowded in old people’s institutions and nursing homes.
There are diverse opinions about signing up parents and the aged for care in old people’s homes. The few old people’s homes in Zimbabwe used to be more like homes for destitute and homeless senior citizens and many people don’t like having their loved ones live in such places.
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People who spoke to NewsDay attributed the dearth of extended families to mordenisation and harsh economic conditions.
“Life nowadays is very difficult and a person cannot afford to look after a bigger family because of financial constraints,” said Tafara Mambo of Budiriro, Harare.
Theresa Nhamburo, from Borrowdale, said: “Life is changing every day and people are just moving according to times. There is no longer collectivity, but rather a person is comfortable with his nuclear family.”
Harare sociologist Darling Nyabiko echoed these sentiments and observed that cultural diffusion had also contributed to the dearth of the extended family.
“There are a lot of reasons why we no longer have extended families in our society. Economically, people are facing tough times in taking care of their little families, let alone other people. As a result, a person tries to limit the number of people he or she can take care of,” he said.
He said the Zimbabwean dispersion, which has seen many people settle in the Diaspora, was also a contributory factor.
“People are now scattered all over the world because of many factors and this has led to families disintegrating. We also need to put into consideration cultural diffusion. People in the 21st century claim they are moving along with the times, which is basically giving in to consumerism and the Western lifestyle.”
He added that the Western world revered individualism and private space, while in many African countries, including Zimbabwe, the concept of individualism was frowned upon.
In some cases, circumstances where men have been accused of engaging in extra-marital affairs with their wives’ younger sisters living with them have seen married women resisting the idea of staying with female relatives. Most married women are now reluctant to accommodate their sisters and have their husbands care for them to avoid such temptations.
“I can’t stay with my younger sister anymore. I have been reading stories in the newspapers of women who lose their husbands to their sisters,” said Lucy of Mabvuku, Harare.
“Temptations are there. My sister comes and goes back home and whenever she is here, I monitor her closely.”
Tradition is no longer considered in this modern society. The current generation of young couples is concerned with the nuclear family. Budgetary constraints have seen people ordering relatives to notify them if they want to visit so that they would be factored into the budget.
An 80-year-old traditionalist in Wedza Tapfumanei Nyakauru bemoaned the collapse of the extended family which had, since time immemorial, been known to provide a social safety net to orphans and other extended family members in need.
“Modernity has affected our culture indeed. Gone are the days when young boys and girls were raised in their married sisters’ homes,” he said.
