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Maids: Acting wives to bosses

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MANY stories have been told and written about husbands who end up engaging in sexual relationships with maids with some ending up getting married.

Report by Jairos Saunyama Own Correspondent

No one really knows the principal reason that drives husbands to this level of dating a maid but the truth remains that most men are attracted to these women.

Generations of wives today have the tendency of offering a three-month contract to their maids in a bid to prevent their husbands from falling for them.

Some wives have gone to the extent of going in the rural areas where they single out what they call “non-appealing” maids in an attempt to blind their husbands from dating the maids.

But despite all these frantic efforts to nail their husbands, at the end of the day wives are found on the losing side as they lose their husbands to their employees.

In an interview with married men on the issue, most of them said it is just a natural thing and very difficult to reverse. “There is no tangible reason as to why this happens,” said Reason Warikandwa from Mandara.

Another man Tobias Mhundwa from Paradise Park in Marondera said: “Unlike forces attract, that’s all I can say. Most maids are cool, down to earth respectful and these characteristics cannot be found in real wives. Men need to be appreciated and most wives lack this.”

Ranganai from Westgate said it is only money and power that leads to a maid–boss relationship.

“Women need money and power that’s all. This is the reason why most female receptionists, secretaries or other female employees do venture into office romance or relationships.

“It is because of the money and power the bosses have and this also applies at home where a maid regards her boss as someone with money and power,” he said.

Harare sociologist and counsellor Darlington Nyabiko said maids are now clever to the extend of realising their mistresses’ weaknesses such that they capitalise on them. Nyabiko added that domestic workers are becoming so powerful that many marriages and relationships are threatened.

“These days maids are no pushovers. “Today they are younger, wear stylish clothes, are sexier, more educated and because of their age, they are very vulnerable and available to their male bosses.

“These young maids remember, are not struggling in every aspect. They are financially destitute but they are physically and morally appealing,” he said.

“Every woman wants money and power and by this a woman is easily attracted to her boss’s husband,” said 23-year-old Paidamoyo who is a maid in Marondera.

“I fell in love with my boss’s husband after realising he was not at peace with his wife. He realised that I was sympathetic and decided to find solace in me. We became closer from then till I became his second wife,” said one woman who preferred anonymity.

However, women who spoke to NewsDay Lifestyle expressed disgruntlement over the issue.

“This is a serious case and most families are being torn apart by maids who later become our husbands’ wives.

“Some women no longer have time to attend to their husbands’ needs. They only attend to their own needs and leave the maid to attend to their husband’s needs.

“Some women are impolite to their husbands and this forces them to look for comfort elsewhere,” said 43-year-old Tariro Mavhinga.

Seventy-five year old Ruramai Maramba from Mbare said women’s financial status is seeing them way above men such that they lose respect for their husbands. She said many women use their salaries and positions at work to transform themselves from the beautiful feminine woman they are into becoming more masculine at home. This makes feminine and submissive maids at home very attractive to men.

This frustrates husbands, who feel women must be submissive to them. The result is that the husband looks for an easy, submissive alternative around them for sex, and in this case, housemaids,” she said.

According to studies by marriage counsellor Gary Neuman, 48% of men rated emotional dissatisfaction as the primary reason they cheat. He says men want to get away from today’s over-empowered and aggressive women, such as their wives and bosses, and be with more regular, easy-going women with whom they can relax and not have to try so hard. Maids are the perfect candidates.

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