I need no excuse to re-visit one of my favourite places, the Bvumba: on Zimbabwe’s eastern border with Mozambique at anytime and certainly none to stay yet another night at the ultra inviting and welcoming Inn on the Vumba (IotV) one of Gordon Addams’ Inns of Zimbabwe group.
Vumba was the “old” geo-political name for the mountain settlement.
So, five hours back at work from a recent exhaustive and exhausting expedition to Bulawayo and Matabeleland South, I had a call asking did I fancy a trip to the Mountains of the Mist to witness the official opening of a small conference facility at IotV. It took a single glance at my diary to see I had no prior commitments for the 24 hours in question. The answer was positively affirmative. And the trip was almost exactly 24 hours long, from being uplifted from Eastlea to being re-delivered there. Well 24 hours, 22 minutes to be precise.
To get the annoying bit off my chest first, we went through 13 Zimbabwe Republic Police road blocks or speed traps on the way there and 15 on the return leg.
Now I’d really like to know under what circumstances I’d be able to produce my driving licence, breakdown triangles, fire extinguisher and tyre-jack (with no guarantee I’d know how to use it!) at (say) Rhodesville Police Station and/or the old Jagger’s roundabout and not be able to do the same by Ruwa Country Club or Goromonzi turn-off?
Driving back from Bulawayo (16 road blocks) with a friend, he fumed the week before he had travelled Esigodini to Avondale (23 road blocks.) Is anyone aware of the total waste of time and unnecessary fuel consumed stopping every 15-20 minutes to answer inane questions from often gormless youths who quite probably can’t even drive themselves.
And when you add the huge amounts of police manpower tied up at these annoying bottlenecks to other uniform “details” lolling about (they seem to do little else) at jerry-built road toll booths, you can understand why Zimbabwe’s urban and rural crime rate’s soaring.
Anyway, once you pull into the peaceful Inn on the Vumba, just 10 minutes’ drive from Mutare, you can forget the world — or most of it, including the ZRP — for the duration of your stay.
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A few good signs: 1) attempts (granted, half-baked not very professional ones) are being made to repair the horribly dangerous pot-holed road up the mountainside; 2) there were no veldt fires roaring out of control over the frontier with masses of acrid smoke marring the views on “our” side and 3) between being met at reception and ordering tea and scones with cream and jam on The Terrace, Zesa clicked into life.
Of course it clicked off again 93 minutes later, plunging my steam-shrouded bathroom into worrying Stygian darkness, until the generator came on. We also lost power between the soup and sweet courses!
But IotV now has a generator which looks as if it could run the “city” of Kadoma! How on earth can the former Gatooma qualify as a city? . . . It’s more like an empty ghost dorp these days!
Two former IotV (older readers will recall it as the Impala Arms)residential suites have been knocked into a conference facility which can accommodate 25 delegates classroom style but, cleverly, can be re-converted in short order to become one large suite if bookings and the market so dictate.
Many of the great and the good of the Bvumba were invited to the launch of Veryan’s Suite. Veryan was the name of Gordon’s late mother, the widow of Major “Dumps” Addams (of Addams Barracks fame.) Des Beckett, formerly of neighbouring Burma Valley and a lay-preacher, blessed the endeavour.
Glen Lorne Cellars laid on celebratory “bubbly” and mulled wine on a chilly night and supplied wines paired with each of the three splendid courses of a table d’hote dinner.
Sitting in the well-stocked and pleasant cocktail bar, Gordon’s Cellar, after the launch, I was pleasantly convinced I could smell curry wafting from the nearby kitchen. However it must have been paprika used in making the starter course of a beefy, spicy Hungarian goulash soup, which was accompanied by a Robertson Shiraz: perfect for red meat, curries, etc. Main course was a roast rolled chicken with seasoning and a creamy chive sauce (and, I seem to remember, roast ham?) with roast potatoes and herbed rice.
Cooking was competently precise. Lesley Mitchell and Lewana Nel of Glen Lorne Cellars served a Robertson Chenin Blanc: light, crisp and not too alcoholic with a charming fruit salad aftertaste.
There were a few raised eyebrows reading the pudding description: hot apple-and-cheese-crumble with custard, but in my opinion apple and cheese go well together. Usual accompaniment for a sweet is a noble rot dessert wine, but serving Robertson Sparkling Doux, a semi-sweet non-alcoholic grape juice was an experiment that worked well.
Coffee or tea was served in the comfortable bar and after non-alcoholic champagne and breathing in great lungfuls of champagne-like clean air, wafting across miles of unspoiled Africa from the Indian Ocean, I’m sure we all slept the sleep of the just.
Early morning tea or coffee is still served in the bijoux rooms at the extremely retro and boutique Inns of Zimbabwe group, then after a hot bath and an appetite building invigorating tramp around the birdlife-filled rolling verdant gardens, overlooking Machipanda in Mozambique, a real trencherman’s breakfast is laid out in the dining room.
There are often mouth-watering “special” offers available at the Inns group and currently Sunday lunch for residents or visitors at IotV of soup, main course roast and coffee for $10 (with free pudding for senior citizens) is proving a winner with travellers and folk from Manicaland.
Queries to Maureen House, general manager on 0712 865 885 or [email protected]
