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Why we cheat on wives Zimbos


It is on record that men like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tiger Woods, Jesse James and John Edwards had it all: talent, fame, money and a beautiful family.

Yet with everything to lose, they were accused of cheating on their wives. Why would men throw it all away? The answers may be surprising as Zimbabwean men too seem to have adopted the same tendency of cheating.

Men who were interviewed said many issues were involved which lead them to cheat on their wives or spend most of the time in the pubs relieving stress.

Garikai Chikoore, a former teacher from Mkoba, Gweru, who blamed his pub addiction on stress, said the root of his problems was his wife who is always at loggerheads with him because of his unemployment and the instability of his finances.

Sometimes I feel unhappy with the wife whom I chose to be with for the rest of my life telling me that I am no longer doing things the normal way because of my unemployment.

That is the reason I am unhappy with my wife. Extra-marital sex is cheaper to maintain and you are not questioned about many things or tossed around, said Chikoore, clad in a torn T-shirt with the words Extreme is not a mood, but a lifestyle.

According to David Buss, professor of psychology at the University of Texas and author of The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating, men have evolved the desire to be with different women.

Thats because its very simple for men to reproduce (one act of sex versus nine months of pregnancy for women), so to create as many offspring as possible theyre biologically programmed to mate with many women, said Buss.

Watida Chikondo of Bulawayo said on a social network that like Adam, the typical man cant resist the temptation of riper fruit, especially if the woman in his life has let herself go.

If these wives get lazy or gain weight or just dont take care of themselves, men will start looking at other women who are smart and who know how to handle themselves, Chikondo laughed.

Even you, my brother, you are aware of Marshal Munhumumwes song Rudo Imoto (love is a flame) especially these days when so many young ladies are looking pretty because of cosmetics and back home my wife does not even know anything about Black Opal cosmetics.

Terrence Vuyo, who owns a tuck shop in Chiredzis Tshovani township, said the issue of child bearing was one of the major contributors of cheating in marriages.

Not having a boy child as your own son is the main reason we men end up seeking for other avenues which we think are justifiable for us.

I need someone who will inherit my wealth and surname, said Vuyo.

We will end up engaging with these small houses and the moment she tells me that she is pregnant I anticipate having a boy child. If she does so I then introduce her to my parents as my second wife, added Vuyo.

Sometimes married men who cheat cannot quite explain their motivation, they just find themselves compelled to bust out of their day-to-day routine in search of something new. Its a primitive instinct that dates back to their role as hunter and gatherers only this time, theyre hunting and gathering new women.

Men naturally are hunters and propagators of the species.

Modern man, however, should be able to discipline his animalistic tendencies with compassion and an awareness of HIV and Aids and have a closer look at the way many orphans are living these days in Zimbabwe, said Ruvimbo Gatsi, a sociologist.

A man from Shangani who requested to remain anonymous said: When my partner is tired from wrangling with kids all day and spending most of the time in the fields since she does not have a formal job I get bored and go looking for young girls.

Men cheat because of the way we were socialised. Our culture allows men to have multiple partners and you are considered a realy masculine male if you do so, said Joseph Chimsoro who stays in Avondale.

I have stopped worrying about sex at home, said a Mbare man who requested anonymity. We only do it when my wife is in the mood. I tried to talk about it with her and she thinks she is always right, so I never discuss sex with her.

I just cheat on her. It has worked, we no longer quarrel about sex and we only have it when she wants to. I have nothing to lose.

But while men think they are being clever, some women interviewed by this reporter confessed to cheating and many had a story to tell. Watch this space for what they said next week.

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