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Marriage: is it for everyone?

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As the Kingdom of God advances and takes over nations and replaces the kingdom of Satan, a thin line then remains between the two kingdoms.

The devil will posture himself as a sheep but inside he will be a bag of ravening wolves.

The situation is made worse in this “prosperity gospel” dispensation where at times it is difficult to tell whether it is the Gospel of Christ that is being preached or it is mere motivational speaking and positive thinking behind the pulpit.

Certain practices and sins are tolerated and spiritual truths are explained from human logic and rationale.

This week I introduce the subject of marriage. Is every girl and boy looking for a partner to marry and is everyone going to get married?

To help us understand where we are coming from so that we route correctly to where we have to go, I sought the opinion of readers and I feature two of them today. I will respond next week and I also ask you all to contribute.

Kristabel Ropafadzo Angel holds the following opinion: “Women have in some instances identified a man to have children with, with no strings attached and raise a family.

But this is in conflict with Christianity. Pastors will tell you to pray and you will find your match.

“But given the high-speed lifestyle in which women are now holding careers that sometimes do not give them time to socialise, it is imperative that the church plays a leading role in ensuring that it creates a forum that enables single adult men to mix and mingle. But some churches abhor such social interaction.

“Most of the women I know had sex before marriage and some of these are pastors’ wives. They too sin in that area (I mean pastors). One pastor wedded his bride when she was already expecting. There is nothing illegitimate about a child no matter the circumstances that brought them into being.

“God has a purpose for each and every person whether they were born from incest, rape, infidelity etc. Do not get me wrong here as I may sound as though I am encouraging sexual immorality.

“I know of many good Christians who were virgins at ages 35-40. What do I do as a 45-year-old for example, wanting to get married and maybe starting a family when I am fully aware that men of my age are already hooked up with other women?

“Where are the unattached? Pastor Marikamayi, we need help in that area because it is pointless to skirt these issues which are very critical to the survival of church members. The church is unfortunately the most horrible place for adult singles who are viewed by womenfolk as sharks or vultures coming after their men.

“There is too much emphasis on the ‘prosperity gospel’ and this leaves people who have come for spiritual healing hanging on the cliff edge. It is a fact that more women than men go to church but there is not much being done to accommodate the needs of adult women who are single or single parents.

“The eligible bachelors are unfortunately found in ‘no-go’ areas like pubs, musical shows etc and we wonder why the church has failed to lure these. We are given so many labels and how I wish a church for this particular grouping could be founded. I am dying to be part of this church that will target women who have been ostracised by the church.”

Another successful Harare woman, writing on conditions of anonymity, says: “I do not believe the church has successfully established monogamy and abstinence as a viable model and I am not sure that this is the best model for life anyway. Biologically I don’t find much support for the one-man, one-woman model in terms of sexual drive and reproductive functionality.

“I recognise, however, that social conditioning has made it such that we aspire to this model, even when all around us we see clear examples of it floundering.

“Why it is floundering I do not know, but perhaps it is just too high an expectation of a mere mortal. Part of the reason the church is failing in its endeavour to convince congregants is because the church leaders themselves have failed to demonstrate that this is a workable model.”

I wish to hear from men as well. The brides are waiting for the wedding ceremony to start.

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